So, you have spent the past months, maybe even years going through a divorce. It has been a long, uphill battle, but you are finally at the top of the mountain. You are probably feeling an overwhelming mixture of emotions. You may be relieved, drained, excited, or unsure. But like with many other big changes in your life, you will change and adapt to your new reality.
You have been through one of the most trying times of your life. There is no better time than the present to treat yourself. Although you've been up to your eyeballs in legal fees, those days are finally behind you. Buy yourself something nice or take yourself out to dinner. Find a new hobby or go on vacation. Whatever it is, make sure you do something for you.
The literature on divorce and life-after-divorce is expansive, which means that you'll be able to find self-help books that are tailored to your specific needs with relative ease. Additionally, don't be afraid to seek out legal assistance for any unresolved custody or property issues lingering from the divorce. Educating yourself on how to best move on after your divorce is one of the best things you can do for yourself now that you are back on your feet.
You may also be feeling overwhelmed by your emotions and the new challenges that you are facing. Don’t be afraid to visit a therapist. This is a big change and it can take a lot out of you. Your therapist will help you find the best methods for coping and managing your emotions.
Surviving a divorce is the perfect time to get yourself out there and meet new people. While you were married, many of your friends were probably other married couples, and you probably participated in most of your activities with your spouse. Now is the time to rediscover yourself and make new friends. Go to a class you've never been to, like a yoga course, a cooking course, or a course on self-defense. You'd be surprised at all the new people you'll meet. Join a book club or sign up for an online dating service. It is imperative that you surround yourself with people who are supportive, interesting, and who like you for who you are.
Don't be afraid to live in the present and be aware of your own needs. For some people, moving on after a divorce will come easily. For others, it will require time. You know yourself better than anyone else, so when the time is right, you'll know. Don’t let anyone pressure you to start dating again or to do what they think is best. If you feel like you need a little nudge to start something, find a supportive friend that you trust. In the meantime, take the time you need to heal.
Divorces aren't fun, but that doesn't mean that the aftermath must be equally miserable. Now is your time. Make the most of it by living every day to its fullest and giving yourself permission to enjoy life again.
Eileen O'Shanassy is a freelance writer and blogger based out of Flagstaff, AZ. She writes on a variety of topics and loves to research and write. She enjoys baking, biking, and kayaking. Check out her Twitter @eileenoshanassy.