When things don't go well, frustration with other people or with yourself often comes up and our mood goes downhill fast.
Have you had those days? Well, you are not alone.
While we cannot control other people and all situations, we can manage our own emotions and how to deal with things and situations that arise in our lives. In my experience, I have found that when we don't meet our own expectations it is very hard. Often times we are harder on ourselves than on others.
When we have moments, such as a short incident or a prolonged streak of lack of success or negativity, we revert back to our “known behaviors” and unproductive habits. Negative situations and stress bring out our worst traits.
Especially with prolonged lack of progress and repetitive destructive situations we start to doubt ourselves. Our worst enemy to success is self-doubt and it is relentless when we fall short of meeting our own expectations when things don't go well.
Even worse, we often perpetuate it. Whatever triggered us in the first place has often passed already and we deal with our feelings; keep ruminating on what happened and what was said.
Remember, whatever we put our attention on grows stronger.
When we hold onto negative experiences, we nurture the undesirable feelings and we may even create physical discomforts like a headache, tension in our body, an upset stomach or other symptoms. We may even compensate with unhealthy habits to change our mood temporarily.
None of this leads to a successful, happy and healthy day, week, month and ultimately life.
Successful people practice a few things that allow them to manage their negative experiences and stay on course. My favorite ones are the following:
Gratitude
It’s so easy to do! I love to look at the beauty of nature, appreciating each little flower and tree. Practice gratitude by writing down in the morning or when you feel low 5-10 things you are grateful for. Do this for 1 week and you will recognize the impact it has on your life.
When we are grateful, we fill our mind with positive thoughts and get into a good vibration. Our negative mind-chatter does not get attention and quiets down. Focusing on our blessings brings us more of the good, because today’s thoughts and feelings create tomorrow’s reality.
Nature
Nature is so amazing. Everything grows. Go for a walk in nature and you will not only improve your physical wellbeing by allowing your body the opportunity to recharge but it will also increase your happiness. Physical activity increases the happy hormone, mood-boosting neurotransmitter Serotonin.
Visualization / Imagery
Watch what’s on your mind. How often do you rethink the negative situation? Click “delete” and use visualization and imagery to create the life you want. This helps you to keep your mind focused on something positive (instead of reliving the negative) and you will create, with time, what you are visualizing .
All transformational leaders agree that whatever we focus on grows stronger in our life. It’s interesting that when we ask ourselves to find evidence of the good, we see more of it and our subconscious mind goes out to find more – the universe brings us more.
Share what practices you use to manage your negative experiences and stay on course on my Facebook page .
Ulrike Berzau, Executive Coach & Consultant, works with individuals, teams and organization to achieve exceptional results in life and business. With extensive experience as healthcare executive, she is known for providing highly respected insights and creative solutions to secure continuous advancement and excellence. Ulrike has an unwavering passion for igniting the talent and brilliance in others and her international and multicultural experiences allow her to relate to a diverse audience. Her ambitious, yet well balanced, positive and inspiring mindset is the catalyst of her own success and assures the success of clients, staff and organizations.
Ulrike is the co-author of the International Best-Seller Imagine a Healthy You and an inspirational speaker. She is certified as Thinking into Results Consultant, Passion Test Facilitator, ASAP Engagement Consultant and Achieve Today Coach, and holds a Master’s Degree in Management, a Master’s Degree in Health Science, Physical Therapy, and is a Fellow of the American College of Healthcare Executives.