How To Mend A Marriage: How To Fix A Broken Marriage Alone
Relationships, including marriage needs nurturing to keep them going smooth. Broken marriages can be painful and can sometimes even lead to hate and remorse. But it is very possible to mend a broken marriage regardless of the reasons that led to the breaking. There are simple steps that can be followed to repair a marriage that of broken or keep the one that is about to break together. Here are some of the steps that can be followed to make amends:
Commit fully to mending: This should be the first step to both parties. An honest conversation can greatly help in achieving this simply because every party gets the chance to say what they expect from the marriage. Both parties must have the need to mend the marriage for it to work in the end.
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End the blame game: This is one common mistake that can make it hard to mend a broken marriage. It is important to remember that at this point it is no longer about who wins or who was right and who was wrong. Mending means moving away from the blame games and focusing more on how to make improvements to make it work.
Prioritize individual needs: Communication breakdown usually leads to broken marriages. It makes it therefore very important for every party to clearly put on the table their needs within the union. When this is done, it becomes very easy to figure out where the problems came in and how to avoid such in the future. Listening to each other's needs will make it easier to handle them better.
Be nice and considerate: This should be in the little things that you do for each other such as addressing each other or even complimenting each other on every good deed. You also need to remember the beauty that is in a genuine look, a kiss and a touch; they can all make a situation positively different. Consideration is important especially when dealing with things that do not make you happy as far as the other party is concerned.
Put the problems aside for a while: You can actually decide to take a holiday where you give love priority. During this time take the time to talk about how you feel about each other and just connect. Avoid talking about money issues, job frustrations and all those things that can bring you down. Bonding should be the essence of the holiday.
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Did you ever have a day pass by without fighting? Are you starting to see divorce looming somewhere in your marriage? Do you want to save your marriage from falling apart? Do you want to bring back the happy days of your marriage?
Seeing your marriage heading to a dark path can be painful for the whole family especially if you have children. It can greatly change your life and the people around you. However you should not think of divorce as the only solution available. There are many things that you can do to pull back your marriage from heading the path of divorce. One of the ways that can help your relationship is through free marriage counseling.
For many years, free marriage counseling has helped many couples fix their marital issues and strengthen their marriage. If you are really determined to be one of those who were brought back together by free marriage counseling, then you should face the problem with your partner and seek professional help.
The following are things that free marriage counseling can offer to you and your partner:
1. Improve your communication - The essential part of a relationship is communication. Talking to your partner when you are full of anger will not help rather it will only worsen the problem. When you seek free marriage counseling, the therapist will teach you on how to effectively communicate with your partner. You will be guided on how to express your thoughts and feelings so that misunderstanding will be avoided.
2. Enhance teamwork - When you undergo free marriage counseling, you will be required to go through different activities, which aims in honing your teamwork. When you perform activities with your partner, it will teach you on how to trust each other. This will help to bring you closer together. This will help you realize that marriage is about working together.
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3. Value time - No matter how busy your work schedule is, you should always make sure to spend time with your partner. It will strengthen your connection with each other; both of you will be aware of how each other really feel and think. Nothing is better than ending a day in your partner's arms and hearing sweet words and feeling his warm embrace.
4. Be a good listener - A marriage is not just about you, it also includes your partner, and your children. When your marriage is facing a problem, you should freely express your opinion but you should also allow your partner to voice out his side. After all when something wrong happens it will be your family that will be greatly affected. When you listen to each other with an open mind, you will end up in making a good approach to your problem.
5. Allow room for changes - When you already see that the way you handle your marriage is not working, you should be open in accepting advices from your partner and from the therapists of free marriage counseling. When your marriage needs to be spiced up to bring back the romantic moments then you should try to do some changes. If you always do overtime at work why not try to come home early and prepare a nice dinner for your partner? This might make a change and lead to a better relationship.
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Do you want to save your marriage, but you think you have an incredible battle before you? Have you let your career get in the way of what was truly important to you and you don't know how to save your marriage as it crumbles before you?
Sadly, most of us wait until things have gotten far out of hand before we even bother contemplating taking action in order to save a marriage. We can even get so caught up in the anger and indifference that we think a separation or divorce would suit us quite well.
Yet, when the cards are down and that separation is eminent, we panic and are suddenly prepared to do just about anything to save our marriage. Whether you're just starting to face marital problems or you've allowed your relationship with your husband to sink to an all time low, here's what you can do to remedy all the wrong and set your marriage right.
Who's to Blame?
I'm sure right now most of you quickly pointed the finger to him. Many of you may be right - possibly your husband has been insensitive, hurtful and harsh - but before you point the finger at him, take a good, long and honest look at yourself.
Chances are, if you're fighting to save this marriage, it's because your husband isn't that bad a guy. He probably has a lot of great qualities, but, for whatever reason, you've grown apart and have trouble communicating as you once did.
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Fix What You Can
There are a lot of little things you can do before you even talk to your husband about the problems you're having. If you've grown apart because you've concentrated all your time on your career and you know he's suffered for it, make a concerted effort to spend time with him.
If he's told you he's tired of having you on his back for every little thing, back off and give him some space. And if you know that you've specifically done something that has caused him great pain, admit you were wrong, apologize profusely and do everything you can to make it up to him. You want to prove to him that you're sincere in wanting to fix what you've broken.
Talk a Calm Talk
Women can sometimes be great at starting a conversation with a gentle and calm tone, but it doesn't take long before the claws come out and she's refusing all blame and constantly attacking the man she wants to remain married to.
Any and all argument needs to remain fair. If you're going to attack him, know that you're only ruining your chances of fixing this marriage. Instead of attacking and accusing, simply tell him how you feel about his actions. He's done something to hurt you?
Don't tell call him an insensitive bastard. There's a very good chance he has no idea his comment hurt you and an even bigger chance hurting you was far from his intention. So tell him his comment hurt you and you'd like him to be a bit more sensitive.
Fixing a marriage isn't a simple snap of your fingers. It's work, compromise and a whole lot of understanding.
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Has infidelity stalled your relationship with your man? How did you learn that your man is cheating on you? Do you still want to continue your marriage or just break it off? These are just some questions that most women think of after surviving an affair. No doubt, one out of three marriages has been infiltrated with infidelity. Many wonder as to how an affair can come to surface in a relationship. Also, many women wonder if they have a chance of survival after an affair. Here are some things that women should do.
1. Follow your gut instinct.
What's amazing about women is their god given talent called the gut instinct. A woman can feel something's not right. There's this burning feeling to investigate and doubt the integrity of a husband. Women are wired to doubt and 80% of their gut feeling is true. Their suspicion of their man's infidelity turns out right all along. You will notice that a certain scent lingers in his wardrobe, he takes longer hours in his work and he doesn't take most of your calls. Start doubting because he may be cheating on you.
2. Confront him
To finally stop all the craziness and sleepless nights thinking about a suspicious affair, you can always ask him. Ask your husband straight up front. He may be full of so much guilt that he's willing to confess. If he denies it yet your suspicions are strong, tell him that one way or another, the truth will still surface.
3. Ask your husband if he wants to stay in the relationship or not.
The reason why husbands cheat on their wives because they are either unhappy or their wives aren't able to provide their need may it be sexually, emotionally and physically. Ask your husband if he still wants to make your marriage work out. This is going to be tough because you have to let him choose between you or his lover. Be ready to face the decision he has made.
What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.
4. Let him promise to break the ties with his lover.
If he agrees to get things fixed, you must tell him to break off with his lover. You must tell him that he mustn't communicate with the girl in one way or another. There should be no more dinner dates, sex, quick coffee breaks and phone calls between the two. It has to stop. You have to tell him to stop.
5. Tell him you love him.
What matters most in your relationship with your man is that you love him. You have to tell him. You have to show him as well that you love him. It may difficult at these times. But you need to show that you love him. After all, you both decided to stay in this marriage.
6. Take time to heal, let go and trust.
Trusting some one who has cheated on you can be very hard. Let time heal your wounds. Learn to forgive him and slowly trust him. He may have changed. If he decided on staying, that means he loves you and is willing to make things better.
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.
You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.
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