“This Guy Was Masculine!”

When I started a new job in the beginning of 2010, it took me a while to settle down. One of reason for this was that before I started this job, I had gone on holiday to Bali and Australia and I had been on a healing course in Belgium just before I headed over there.

In addition to this, I wasn’t happy with someone else telling me when I had to work and when I could go home. It wasn’t all bad, though, as I got the chance to speak to lots of people each day.

My First Love

During this time, I hadn’t written any articles or books; the only kind of writing I did at this point was in a journal. What I liked about this was that I could get my thoughts down, and this made it easier for me to see what was going on.

Therefore, even though I hadn’t got the point where I came to see how much I enjoyed writing, I was only too aware of how much I enjoyed talking to people. What played a big part in my ability to communicate with others was that I grew up in a guest house.

A Wide Range of People

We had people stay there from all over the world, and we even had students stay over at Christmas. I watched how my parents behaved around people and I could learn from the people who stayed with us.

The experiences that I had, along with my natural curiosity, gave me the ability and the desire to talk to people. Having an emotionally unstable mother also gave me an enhanced ability to read people.

I Put In the Effort

In the beginning I spoke to just about everyone who worked there and, as time passed, I only spoke to the ones who were willing to put in the same amount of effort. There were a few people who I got on well with, and it was always a pleasure to talk to them.
​
But due to the kind of job that I had, I didn’t expect to come into contact with people who I would become close friends with. The good thing about this job was that a number of students worked there during the summer and at other moments throughout the year.

A Different Dynamic

What this meant was that I had the chance to speak to people who were committed to learning and moving forward in life. There was a time when one of these students was sent over to where I was working, and this guy was different.

I soon found out that his name was Lewis, and he spoke about how much of an effect his late granddad had had on his life. It was clear that he had his heart and mind in the right place.

Positive Feedback

If I remember rightly, he said that he was surprised that someone as intelligent as me was working there. I told him about what I was into, what I did in my spare time and what my views were on certain things.

I was slightly confused as to why someone would say something like this about me; I didn’t see myself as being particularly bright. After all, I had a very basic job and I just had an interest in self-development.

My Outlook

The interest thing about this was that I was just as surprised to meet someone like him there, too. It didn’t take long for me to come to the conclusion that this was someone who was bright, and this was just because he was at university.

Not only did he have the intelligence, he also had the drive and the humility to go with it. He had a very masculine energy, and there was something about this energy pulled me in.

Healthy Masculinity

Now, this is not to say that he was aggressive or violent, or that I felt threatened by his presence, far from it. What it came down to is that his communication was direct, he took action, his emotions didn’t control him and he took responsibility for his life.

What also played a part here was that this was a time when I hadn’t integrated my own aggression. This meant that I was drawn to what I hadn’t yet realised within myself, and this was partly why his behaviour had such a positive effect on me.

The Start of Something Significant

As time went by we got to know each other better and, after a while, we arranged to together for a drink. I appreciated the fact that I had met someone who I could have a meaningful conversation with.

When we first started talking to each other, I had no idea that our friendship would develop in the way that it has. It is for this reason that I am extremely grateful that our paths have crossed.