“I Wanted To Convert People!”

After I had been into self-development for a few years, in the middle of 2005, I learnt about the effect that our thoughts, emotions and beliefs have on how we experience life. I think the first time I had heard about his was when I read ‘The Power of the Subconscious Mind’, by Joseph Murphy.

Shortly after this, I read a number of books by Dr Robert Anthony, followed by a CD program called ‘The Secret of Deliberate Creation’. I was amazed by what I heard and wanted to tell other people about it.

Inner Conflict

Nevertheless, while part of me felt energised by what I was reading and listening to, another part of me was full of doubt. This was a time in my life when I felt powerless and as though I couldn’t do anything to change my life.

So, although part of me wanted to believe that I actually had an effect on my life and that I wasn’t a victim, another part of me just wasn’t having it. And the part of me that didn’t believe this was the part that was the strongest.

The Source

It could be said that it was my unconscious mind that wasn’t on board with this idea; whereas my conscious mind was. This meant that there was a lot for resistance, but this other part of me wasn’t willing to give up

During this time, I learnt how important it was for me to observe my thoughts and to be careful what I think about. Along with all the effort that I was putting in to train my mind, I felt the need to share what I was learning with others.

One Focus

I felt as though I had to share what I as learning, and that it wouldn’t be right for me to keep this to myself. After all, I believed that I was learning about something that was extremely powerful.

Therefore, I believed that if I held back and didn’t say anything, it would have been similar to me having a cure for a disease and not sharing it with the world. To be more precise, that’s how I saw it at the time.

A Different Outlook

I would talk about this stuff to my family, friends, and anyone who would listen, and in a lot of cases, it wouldn’t go down well. The fact that my life wasn’t completely in order was often seen as a sign that this was a load of rubbish; if it wasn’t, surely my life would be perfect!?

It became clear that a lot of people had closed minds and that they would rather struggle than try another way - a way that might allow them to change their reality. These experiences had a negative effect on me, though, as I wanted them to believe in what I was telling them.

A Hidden Agenda

What this came down to is that not only did I want to have a positive effect on other people; I also wanted other people to agree with me, so that I could silence my own doubt. I thought that if they believed what I was saying, it would make it easier for me to believe it.

The problem was that this rarely happened, as these people would often mirror back my own self-doubt. I remember listening to Dov Baron around this time, this was someone who spoke about the ‘law of resonance, and he said that the best way to show other people was to demonstrate it – to live it and not just talk about it.

I Gradually Got the Message

I came to see that I had the wrong approach, and that it would be far better for me to focus on applying this stuff in my own life and to only bring it up when it was clear that someone would be interested. Through doing this, I would be far more respectful of other people’s boundaries.
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I thought about the people who I would often hear in a populated area who tried to convert people to a certain religion, and this was not how I wanted to be. I came to see that the less doubt I had, the less I felt the need to convince anyone.