There’s a saying circulating in the self-development community that you rise to the level of the expectations of your peer group. I can't take ownership of this phrase but I’ve found that it is true in my own life as well as other people that I have observed. Every social circle has an invisible standard as well as a moral code and set of values. You will find that you naturally resonate with other people who have similar standards and values. This is why people say you vibe well together. It’s as if you’re on the same frequency of thought.
This phenomenon can be a good thing because it’s the glue that holds a social circle together and allows them to operate as a unit. It can also be a bad thing because groups tend to pull down individuals who try to rise above the status quo. For example when someone from a lower socio-economic milieu makes their audacious financial goals known to their family and friends they are ridiculed. They are met with disempowering conventional wisdom and useless platitudes meant to keep them down. Their social circle doesn’t do this because it wants to hurt them directly but it is a defense mechanism to protect them from getting hurt. It could also be a defense mechanism to protect their own ego’s.
You will never rise above your peer group as long as you allow them to have influence over you. The best way to break the cycle is to upgrade your peer group. The best way to do that is to make a list of all the people in your life that are not assisting you towards the attainment of your goals and to then lose their number and forget they exist. This can be very hard to do emotionally but you must make a judgment call. Do you want a better life or do you want to be like? Think about all the good you could do if you realized your full potential. Think about all the people you could help if you become the person you were meant to be. Your family and friends may call you selfish for putting your goals in front of them but the truth is they are selfish for wanting to limit you whether they know it or not. The most selfless thing you can do is to become your best self and to then lift others up. As long as you remain powerless you can't help anyone.
Once you cut out those who limit your success in life you will want to replace them with people you admire. You want to reach up in life so make a list of the type of friends and acquaintances you’d like to surround yourself with. Then go out and find those people. It may take a while to build this new social circle and you may be tempted to go back to the old one. Resist the temptation and force yourself to grow. Soon you will have new empowering friends that lift you up and help you grow. Always remember this concept of upgrading your peer group because you may need to do it again and again as you progress. The end goal is to find a core group of friends who are willing to do this process with you.
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