You're Gay - Accept It and Love It

Simon Copland recently argued that it’s highly unlikely that people are born with any sexual orientation. However, scientific evidence says otherwise. It shows that sexuality has a biological origin. This shouldn’t scare us or undermine LGB rights. Instead, there are several reasons why it should make us more vigorous in promoting LGB rights.

What Research Says About Being Gay

The Guardian says there are various studies conducted by independent research groups showing that genetic factors explain about 25% -30% of the differences between people’s sexual orientations (e.g. heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual). Some of these studies looked at twins’ genetic traits only to discover that “genes for sexual orientation” do exist. So, when it comes to being gay you have genetic markers on your X and 8 chromosomes. This shows that lots of genes work together to influence sexual orientation.
It’s important to note that genes aren’t the whole story. Sex hormones in prenatal life also play a role. For instance, if your daughter is born with congenital adrenal hyperplasia (CAH), which results in naturally higher levels of male sex hormones, then it’s more likely she’ll be a lesbian. This is also true of males who either have an accident or are born without a penis and thus underwent a sex change and were raised as girls. They’re typically attracted to women as adults.
Furthermore, the brains of gay and heterosexual people are organized differently. For instance, patterns of brain organization appear similar between gay men and heterosexual women and between lesbian women and heterosexual men. Typically, most gay men appear more “female-typical” here while lesbian women appear more “male-typical.”These differences in how a person’s brain is organized lead to cognitive differences between heterosexual and gay people. This means that being gay is reflected in your psychology and how you relate to other people. Biology’s influence runs throughout your sexual and gendered life.

Being gay in the Media

Things aren’t much better in the media either. Gay celebrities like Matt Bomer, Zachary Quinto, and Colton Haynes are often heralded in lists of “gay men you’d never know were gay.”On the other hand, when you read through articles that talk about the best celebrity butts they rarely ever include gay men even though they’re published on gay websites.
These are things that are being blatantly ignored. In fact, most gay men would agree that about 41% of writers will never change their mind or even see the error of their ways in such reporting. Even gay magazines like Attitude express their dismay about this and yet they still continue the trend. In fact, Attitude’s 2017 Man of the Year was given to Nyle DiMarco who’s a traditionally handsome, masculine-looking model who describes his own sexuality as being “fluid.” Even the previous winners of this award (e.g. Wentworth Miller, Liam Payne, Tom Daley) fit into this samemould– at least to some extent.
Some gay men argue that their aversion to femininity is just a ‘preference.’ However, it’s still difficult to ignore its effect – especially today when you’re constantly reminded that gay men are continually being rounded up to be tortured and killed in Chechnya because they’re wearing clothes that “straight man wouldn’t wear” or that Trump about Mike Pence wants to “hang gays.” These reports are terrifying for gay men especially those who are more feminine because they’re who would probably be targeted while those who can go under-the-radar and act like heterosexual men will probably escape and be left alone.
This isn’t something that should anger you. There are still some unashamedly feminine gay men like RuPaul out there who will help you realize that being effeminate is not something to hide. These men help you see that you don’t have to be just a sassy sidekick. You can indeed be a strong, funny, and intelligent man – just like every other complex human being.
Those who are femme bashers will never truly be able to find an ally in anyone who isn’t homophobic. This is sad but true even though they’re gay. There are no exceptions made here – not even for guys who have “straight acting” listed in their Grindr bios. So, what it all amounts to is that if you’re going to be gay, you should at least try to be fabulous and while you’re at it, you should also take some time to enjoy gay chatrooms.

Showing Signs of Femininity

Dazed Digital says while you’d think that today it’s easier to surround yourself with people who accept you for who you are, this isn’t necessarily true. In fact, 71% of men who show too much femininity have been actively turned off by a prospective partner. Another 41% of those surveyed said that effeminate men give the gay community a bad image. This is a troubling pattern that’s created another group of gay men: Androphiles are men who don’t like “traditionally gay” things like Lady Gaga. This makes feminine gay men feel ashamed of their own feminine qualities, causes them to be quiet and reserved, and making other failed attempts to butch themselves up for other’s benefit.
All you have to do is take a look at Grindr profiles where you’ll find slogans like “masc4masc” and “no fats, no femmes, no Asians.” It’s also the reason why so many gay men have chosen not to use apps like these – for the benefit of their own mental health and self-esteem. Nevertheless, the effect of continually being fed the message that femme equals bad is still difficult to ignore.
Apps aren’t the only place where you see this happen either. When you look around Instagram you’ll see many carbon-copy muscular, hairy, tattooed men who are scantily clad while out at a club or party. Porn is another place where you see this happen. Most of the gay porn stars are masculine men who are muscular, dominant and aggressive. They’re often paired up with twinks- a young, skinny, feminine gay counterparts. These twinks are typically portrayed as stupid, whiny, and they’re typically submissive too.