Appreciation, acknowledgement and understanding are key ingredients in couple relationships. Partners feel important, content and loved when they know their partner practice these and are truly dissatisfied, unfulfilled and unhappy when they don’t. The reason is that these characteristics aid couples in feeling connected. Their absence leaves couples fumbling to get their needs met and to “feel” their partner and the relationship.
The lack of these qualities is so prevalent and common that it’s a wonder we even have couples inhabiting the earth. Knowing how to give appreciation, acknowledgement and understanding is a daunting and challenging task as most of us were never really taught how to do this, but it’s never too late to learn and start practicing them.
I have seen what fabulous transformations in relating learning these can achieve. Couples come in to see me not really liking each other, not getting their needs met, being completely dissatisfied in their relationship, and on the verge of breaking up and once they learn these “skills” they metamorphose. They achieve a higher level of love and intimacy than they have ever experienced.
I want this for you, and all couples for that matter…, but let’s start with you. J I want you moving beyond the nastiness, dissatisfaction or plain old mere getting by in your relationship. I want you to have a live relationship that fulfills you and is rewarding. One that meets your needs, is passionate and fun. I want your relationship to heal you and complete you. I want you to have a conscious relationship. You can achieve this by starting with observing our upcoming Holiday. Thanksgiving.
I want Thanksgiving to have an additional meaning for you: being thankful for your partner. I want you to celebrate your partner and show them appreciation for being in your life. Your partner is the missing link… They have the potential to heal and complete you.
Your partner was perfectly matched to you as your unconscious picked them just for this reason. In their opposite characteristics and coping, and similar characteristics to your caretakers growing up, they have the ability to recreate old wounds for healing and teaching you to reclaim your lost parts. Getting answers and help you heal and become whole – now these are things to be grateful and thankful for, and your partner is the embodiment of them!! Be thankful for your partner!!
You can thank them with the gift of appreciation, acknowledgement and understanding starting on Thanksgiving, or earlier – why not?, and gifting them consistently in your everyday interactions and situations.
When you take a step back from your relationship and view your partner as a gift and when you gift them back with appreciation, acknowledgement and understanding, you’ll start seeing changes in your relationship that will suit you just fine…
Happy Being Thankful!!!
~ Your MetroRelationship™ Assignment
Appreciation, acknowledgement and understanding are shown when we put ourselves in our partner’s shoes and look at our context, situation and relationship from their perspective and see their efforts, sacrifices, gifts, views, concerns and needs from where they stand. Armed with this insight it is a lot easier to meet your partner where they are and show them you get them. Also, from this place it is a lot easier to meet their needs – there is no guessing or trial-and-error necessary. Make a date with your partner and share with them your insights and new level of “getting it.”
Emma K. Viglucci, LMFT has been in the mental health field in varying capacities for the past 20+ years. She is the Founder and Director of MetroRelationship.com a psychotherapy and coaching practice specializing in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial couples who are struggling getting on the same page and feeling connected.