Yes, they do! But in varying degrees. Bachelor parties are often touted as the groom’s final night as a free man. This may involve booze, maybe some dancing, or just having a great time with your male friends. Planning the party is one thing, paying for it is another. It should be noted that the groom is generally absolved from both of these obligations. It’s the best man who usually handles the planning but the groomsmen chip in to help with the finances.
Seeing as it is his responsibility, the best man usually informs the groomsmen about the when, where and how much of the bachelor party. The common practice is for the groomsmen and other invited guests to split the costs equally among themselves. So when the best man gives an estimate of what he has already spent on–like the food, liquor, and location–be ready to pay for your share.
Then there’s the matter of expenses that occur during the party, things that haven’t been booked in advance such as your transportation or additional drinks. This is a bit tricky. The best man might volunteer to pay for these things up front but make sure to compensate him with your share at the end of the night.
If you simply cannot contribute anything to the party, maybe it would be best to tap out for the night. Sure, you’ll be missing some of the wedding festivities but there is no shame in admitting that you are financially tight as of the moment.
One-night bachelor parties could easily set a groomsman back a few hundred bucks. The usual suspects here include the food, alcohol, the event space and some sort of entertainment. But if you have an extravagant set of friends, the bachelor party might last an entire weekend or will even be out of town. Two nights in the iconic Las Vegas strip, notorious for its wild parties, could shock you with a $1000 bill.
Splitting the bill presents a challenge if you’re not going to be present to all the activities or spend as much time as everyone else. Let the best man know ahead of time so that he won’t expect payment for particular expenses. He might even carve out a modified budget just for you. You can settle this now or pay for your share at the end of the weekend.
A groomsman taking care of the entire bill of the bachelor party isn’t entirely uncommon. If you have the bank account for it and you sincerely feel the groom deserves it, then by all means, go ahead! There might be some hesitation from the best man and other groomsmen but they would certainly appreciate this gesture. After all, paying for something as big as a bachelor party is no joke.
A word of caution though, if you do decide on making the gesture, don’t be smug about it. Be as humble and polite as possible in the manner that you suggest the idea. You don’t want to slap your financial privilege in the faces of the other groomsmen. Remember that the male ego is a fragile little thing.
Bear in mind, as well, that this is for the groom. You might be tempted to buy or do things because you paid for the party. Restrain yourself from doing so especially if it’s not in accordance with the groom’s wishes.
The groom has the privilege of not worrying anything about the bachelor party except to have a good time. But there are exceptions to this rule. If it is in the groom’s preference to hold the bachelor party out of town, he has an obligation to take care of such expenses as the airfare and accommodations of everyone. This is also a good time for the groom to hand out his groomsmen gifts as tokens of appreciation for the great men in his life.
However, if it’s the best man or majority of the groomsmen who insist for the party to be anywhere but near, they have to shoulder their own expenses on top of the groom’s. Of course, this isn’t the absolute rule. Etiquette simply demands to find a civil way to cut the budget in a way that’s acceptable to everyone.
The important thing to remember is that bachelor parties are not mandatory events. You shouldn’t feel pressured to attend one or pay for it if you don’t feel like it. That being said, your presence to the bachelor party would mean a lot to the groom. But it’s also equally important to know where you stand in terms of your ability to financially contribute. In the presence of family and friends, no one will castigate you for your choices especially if it has a valid reason.
Kathy Mitchell is a writer and avid researcher on the subject of beauty, nutrition and general wellness. She likes to go out with her friends, travel, swim and practice yoga.