Well, this is my first post on this website, so I thought I would just keep it simple and give some general life advice.
No, I’m not trying to be some Jordan Petersen here. I’m no acclaimed author, nor am I rolling around in Mercedes, but I have travelled, I’ve lived in a variety of countries, I run my own business from wherever I want to be, I have confidence in dating and I know a lot of people.
But most importantly – I wake up free. That is huge to me. I would rather this over all the riches in the world.
This is definitely not the definition of success for some people, but for others it is, and I’m asked this question a lot – “Chris, what do I do to find the motivation?”
In this article, I will answer that.
Now, you have surely have heard these ideas before – they are pretty obvious – but I want to explain them in a practical way, not a woo-woo way.
It doesn’t matter how “woke” you are if you can’t pay the rent.
If you’re doing one or two of these already, that’s great. If you’re doing more than that, that’s amazing. But if you’re not doing any, I believe you will run into issues. What kind of issues?
Motivation issues, emotional issues, lifestyle issues, they all blend into one another.
So, let’s get to it:
1) Meditate Daily & Don’t Be a Hippy About It!
You’ve heard to meditate 1000 times before – but no one likely has told you know why. Most people think meditation is just for relaxing.
That’s great but meditation lowers cortisol. It’s that simple. And you probably have no idea how dangerous cortisol is.
Yes it’s a necessary hormone, but too much of it wreaks havoc on your body and mind. Studies have shown that just 10 minutes a day of meditation lowers cortisol. I talk about it in this video.
How you meditate does not matter anywhere near as much as that you meditate. “Trying” here and there is about as effective as going to the gym here and there. After 30 days you will not be able to live without it.
2) Daily To-Do List!
Biologically we’re wired to do essentially what we have to do – and not much more. Many people have some distant goal in their head, but never do anything about it because they just don’t have to get it done. They can live easily without the goal.
If you’re all good for money for instance, then it is going to take a LOT to get yourself to commit to any goal related to more money.
This is why we need to-do lists. When our emotional brain kicks in, and we don’t want to do what is necessary, then we need to have trained our logical brain to take over. For this it needs a task. And that task is your to-do list.
No planning = nothing gets done = emotional brain wins.
Even just write out 3 things to do each night after work. That is less than 1 thing an hour. Over a week, that is 15 things that you have accomplished, while also having weekends off!
3) Exercise Damn It!
Y’all knew this was coming, I’m sorry to be ‘that’ guy.
About 10% of Australian are on antidepressants, and about 15% of the United States is also. Most of those people are not exercising, and they were still prescribed potentially very dangerous chemicals. Insane.
Exercise has been shown in studies to be as effective, or more effective than pharmaceuticals. So exercise is not just about staying in good shape, it’s more about keeping your brain in good shape.
I highly recommend HIIT as this has been shown to be incredibly beneficial for the brain (check out a book called Spark by John Ratey for more on this).
4) Do More of What You Want
I turned a hobby (and an insecurity) into a business. This is proof that anyone can do it.
Again, success is different for everyone. Maybe for you it’s financial freedom, or location independence, or a happy relationship, or good health. But to get any of those, you need to do less obligations for the outside world, and more for you and that goal.
You need to be selfish for a bit. Try to care a little less about what people think about you and your life choices. Let them think you’re crazy, or rude, just - do more of what you want to do!
You have bills to pay, mouths to feed, so little time on your hands – I get it. But you’re going to tell me, that if, say, an artist put aside 1 hour per day to work on his art, to learn the business, to get sales skills, that after 12 months (and 365 hours), he would not have turned that into a liveable income?
C’mon man.
Of course he could. And there is nothing to lose if he doesn’t! It was just 1 hour out of each day, doing something that he loves to do anyway.
5) Date – A Lot!
Look, I’m a realist, and some won’t like this point.
Date, a lot. Do not spend your early 20s with one person, unless it feels that that person is 100% the right person for you at that time in your life. So obviously this advice goes out to the younger readers.
The older you marry, the less likely divorce is.
Nothing will ruin your life faster than marrying (or even dating) the wrong person. And yes this applies to both the men and women readers. You will waste so much time, possible cut careers short, let yourself go, face a costly divorce, or just spend a life wondering what if.
No, I’m not saying to be reckless and loose, I’m saying to explore yourself, and dating, and people.
I have been a dating coach for men since 2008, so I’m not just talking out of my butt here. It’s an area that I know well. I’ve seen literally hundreds of men who have made this simple mistake, and caused themselves a lot of pain. And I’m sure plenty of gals do also.
No one teaches us otherwise! We go to school to learn about the world, we go to university to perfect our area – but we never learn about dating. So it’s up to you to learn all that you can about yourself, and about the opposite sex, because you’re going to spend half of your life relating to them – it’s worth trying to understand them a little more.
Chris Manak is Australia’s leading dating coach for men. His company Manic Workshops features regularly in media such as The Daily Mail, CLEO and The Financial Review.
Chris uses dating as a vehicle to grow men’s confidence. This in turn helps them create a more fulfilled life.