Spicing Up The Bedroom For Married Couples: How To Spice Things Up In The Bedroom

Spicing Up The Bedroom For Married Couples: How To Spice Things Up In The Bedroom

If you are married and past the honeymoon stage, you are probably going through the normal problems of a lacking sex life. There are many factors that have led the two of you to this new (probably missionary) position, whether you are up early, late and early again with children, or you have work, bills, and angry boss stresses. Life suddenly gets in the way and your sex life is left as a lower priority. The good news here is that this is a fun problem to fix. There are many ways to reignite the flame and have the best sex of your life, with the person you love.

Games are a fun way to force the two of you to try something new. Spend an evening with a glass of wine and your partner, and each write a list of new positions or fantasies that you would like to try. Make this fun! Trade lists once complete, and have each partner choose an activity and then act them out. Make sure to push the boundaries a little bit, while maintaining a level of confidence and comfort.

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Sex toys are another great way to spice up your sex life. If you and your partner have never experimented with sex toys then start off with something easy, like a vibrator. Once you feel more comfortable with this as a couple, you can try new things with it, and also try new kinds of toys.

Sexy clothing can also reignite old flames. Try shopping together for lingerie. This will bring passion to the two of you while shopping, and again once home. Buy something you or your partner would normally not wear, but make sure you are both confident and comfortable with the choice.

The most important thing about spicing up your sex life is remain comfortable, yet try new things. Whether you are playing a new sex game, experimenting with a sex toy, or wearing and shopping for new lingerie, you are adding an element of fun into your sex life. While each couple goes through these problems at some point, not every couple fixes them. Show your partner how important remedying this is for you and your partner will be sure to share the enthusiasm. Make your partner feel sexy again. Take charge and be the couple that comes out of this problem with even better, hotter sex than ever.

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Infidelity, not being true to your purpose, is devastating to most relationships.
Thousands end up in the divorce courts every year because one of the partners has not maintained his or her fidelity. Such problems in relationships can be overcome by patience and understanding and love and by repentance of the offending partner.

I was out making visits to church members years ago as a lay minister called a home teacher. We entered a home where despair was a dark cloud of gloom. One of the partners had left the home with another which resulted in infidelity. I had only seen such sadness a few times in my life and it was always related to death.

When such occurs, both partners must take action to mend the breach. When I went into the army in 1950 because of the outbreak of the Korean War, we soon had soldiers come to our units from the battlefield. (One had not one spot on his body that was not scarred by bullet holes or hand grenade fragments. I was soon over in Korea see what happened to this young man firsthand. As soon as he got home, he married to assure his progeny.)

A Hispanic corporal, age 42, came to me and said, "Sergeant, I'm having trouble with my wife. What should I do?"

The reason he came to me was not that he thought nineteen-year-old sergeants were great marriage counselors but that I was an SFC (Sergeant First Class).

I was completely without knowledge of marriage counseling but I was his sergeant. I did the best I could. I told him it was all his fault that he had alienated his wife and that he had better pitch in and help her with the dishes and taking care of the kids and that he needed to buy her flowers and take her out to dinner, that he had to give one heck of a lot more to his marriage than she did.

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I didn't ask him if he had been unfaithful. I didn't ask him if he beat the kids. I just told him he would have to change. My parents worshiped each other and not once in their 66 years of marriage did they argue. I had never seen the situation the corporal was in. But as I said, I was the sergeant.

Two weeks later he came to me, thanked me, said his wife was now lovey dovey and that they were extremely happy.

When I got home from the army I took a class in courtship and marriage and found that I had applied the 51% rule.

Now days we have homosexual marriages called gay or lesbian marriages. They are legal in a number of states including of all places, my home state of Utah. Many live together that are not married. In all such relationships, fidelity is required if happiness is to be maintained.

The key is that infidelity must end. If it does not end, the relationship probably will.

There are reasons for infidelity. They must be examined so that the conditions can be removed.

Unkindness to one partner by the other can lead to infidelity.

Associating with the wrong people can lead to infidelity.

Horsing around on the Internet can lead to infidelity.

Flirting can lead to infidelity so don't flirt.

What ever the problem, the offender must repent, change his or her ways, and make up to his or her partner. That is the only way to save such a relationship.

My wife and I have been married for sixty years. She is not able to take care of herself so it takes a lot more giving on my part.

Fidelity is my job.

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There is plenty of relationship advice for women out there. However, as a person who's interested in psychology and who is in a stable marriage, I think a lot of it is simply not flexible enough for certain situations. There is also the opposite, that is, advice that is far too broad to have any applicability. Here is a situation that is pretty common: a guy that you might be dating (or married to) who's ex or old flame has walked into his life again. What do you do if he wants to catch up with her? Here's what my wife did when an ex of mind contacted me out of the blue.

1. The Story

It was a beautiful, summery Sunday. I was enjoying a private getaway with my wife when I received a message from a name that made me stop in my tracks. It was Rebecca and she was actually in town. I hadn't seen her for about 7 years and she didn't know that I was already married.

I told my wife and she didn't seem to respond. She never was the jealous type, but this was a pretty big deal. I didn't want anything coming in between us, but a part of me wanted to catch up with Bec.

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2. What My Wife Did

Elle (my wife) just told me one thing the night that I planned to meet up with Rebecca: "don't do anything that you're going to regret." It was a warning and an "I love you" at the same time. I wanted her to come with me, but she refused.

She basically gave complete control to me. She gave me a choice and that was what was constantly going through my head when I was sitting across from Rebecca.

3. What Happened...

In the end, nothing happened. I told Rebecca that I was happily married now and that she was just catching up with "old friends" since she wasn't going to be in the area long.

I went home, told everything to my wife and she just nodded. These problems to tend to get blown out of proportion, but I think that my wife did the right thing. It definitely wasn't easy for her, but she couldn't have said anything else that would have made me less likely to meet up with Rebecca a second time.

If you're after relationship advice for women from a man's perspective, you'll get plenty of it from me. Hopefully through this story, you can see that these problems are approachable, it just takes a cool head and sure heart from the woman.

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Proverbs 18:14 (NLT) states "The human spirit can endure a sick body, but who can bear a crushed spirit?"

Because we are wonderfully made, our bodies have the ability to recover and heal from many sicknesses. It is fascinating to see how a sore heals from the inside out. The pain lasts for a relatively short time, but one day you awaken to no pain and no open wound.

But what happens when you have a crushed spirit? How easy is that to bear? Specifically, in marriage, what do you do if your spirit gets crushed?

A crushed spirit can come from being emotionally or mentally harmed. In marriage, a wife can suffer when her husband repeatedly wields insults at her, complains about her body or what she does or doesn't do, or compares her to another woman who he thinks is a model wife.

There are two crushers that I still have to mention. Damage to a wife's mental and emotional wellbeing is sustained when she has to deal with her husband's complaints of her sexual inadequacies. When a woman has children and as she ages, a woman's body changes dramatically. Hormone levels can lower or even plummet over time. What once seemed like an exciting, effortless task to "get in the mood" for sexual activity may now seem like drudgery.

Generally, husbands don't quite understand these woes. Some husbands don't care and expect his wife to turn on her lovemaking as if it's some type of machine with an on/off switch. This is a subject that will be explored further and separately from this article. But it is necessary to mention it, especially as it relates to the impact it has in crushing a wife's spirit.

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The second spirit crusher in marriage is infidelity. Although there are some wives who step outside of their marriage and have affairs, the focus for this topic is a wife's concern for her husband's infidelity. Every insecurity a woman can have comes to the surface and spills over when her man turns his heart, attention and time to another woman.

The thoughts are cluttered and scattered. The emotions and feelings are raw, unpredictable and sometime volatile. It literally hurts to hurt when a husband is unfaithful. Even for a Christian wife, her spirit can feel trampled on, irreparably damaged, and rotten to the core. She has a crushed spirit.

It may seem that the jabs don't stop. Pretty soon, you feel like you've been knocked out and have no energy or willpower left to stand up again to take another blow. It may even feel like your husband has sucked all the life out of you. You have a crushed spirit.

But ladies, you do have a fight in you. In many cases, there are things that you can still do to heal your crushed spirit and save your marriage. God sends you rescue through various forms. Prayer and meditation are extremely helpful. You should never stop praying for your husband and marriage.

Additionally, it is advantageous to seek the assistance of a professional who is experienced in working with marital issues. Intimacy and infidelity concerns are tough issues that many couples are ill-equipped to deal with alone. Be the Christian wife who seeks to resurrect the romance and save the marriage!

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.

You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.

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