Wife Sending Mixed Signals About Divorce: Mixed Signals From Wife Who Wants A Divorce

Wife Sending Mixed Signals About Divorce: Mixed Signals From Wife Who Wants A Divorce

If you suspect your wife no longer loves you, you are probably going through lots of pain. You feel sad and down, and you miss the way she used to make you feel. You are wondering whether she is still in love with you.

There are many materials you can buy online and in bookstores - even seminars - available to help you answer the question, "does my wife still love me"? But exercising some common sense can really make a difference after a loss of love between you. And, displaying the appropriate behavior can go long way toward healing your relationship.

If you cannot stop thinking about your lost relationship and wondering if she still loves you, I have some tips on how to rekindle her love for you. You will give yourself the best chance of getting back together with that special someone.

Avoid being dishonest with her:

This is a very important tip, but one that is often ignored at the peril of the distraught husband. Why? Many people fall back on playing games when they are hurt by their wives' recent coldness because it gives them a sense of power. If you can make your wife think that you no longer have feelings for her - or if you can make her think you care more than you really do - you are just playing with her mind. That can make you feel powerful in the short term, which can feel good. But this good feeling is short-lived, and it will not last for very long.

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At some point, you will come to the realization that trying to fool your wife does not really work. And, anything good that happens because of it will always be tarnished by the fact that it is based on lies.

Some people play games to make their wives jealous by pretending to show interest in someone else. This is merely a way to try to make their falling-out-of-love wives feel jealous. While this can work, in many instances it actually causes a breakup, once and for all. For example, your wife could be so jealous at the thought of you being with someone else that she wants you back. Or, on the contrary, she could decide that since you emotionally became disengaged so quickly, you do not really care about her anyway. The bottom line is, you have no way of knowing how this type of dishonest action will play out in terms of longer-term effects.

Be nice:

This is true for any type of relationship, but sometimes the anger that comes from one's wife suddenly going emotionally cold can make can us act in a way that is beneath us. Even if you are feeling hurt, the fact that you want to know, "does my wife still love me?" indicates that you want to make things work.

Ask yourself how you have been acting toward your wife lately. If you were your wife, would you look forward to spending time you? Even if you feel like picking fights with her, simply stop yourself from doing so. Instead, work extra hard at controlling your ill will. In other words, be a person who deserves to be cared for!

Remember: be on your best behavior when you are around your wife, and help her to remember what it was that made her fall in love with you in the first place. She will remember your good points and will miss them. You will then have a better chance of rekindling the love you share.

What I have shared with you here are just the beginning steps in winning back the love of your wife. They are the first steps I followed when I lost the love of my life - my wife. And frankly, these are not my own ideas. Rather, I learned these ideas from top relationship experts who have made a science out of people getting their spouses to fall back in love with them.

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There are tell-tale signs of a marriage in crisis. Do you know what they are? You could be in the midst of a marital crisis and not even know it. Do not be caught off guard. Educate yourself on the signs of a troubled marriage and develop of plan of action to save it!

*Constant Arguing - This is the most obvious sign that something is not right. If you cannot have a conversation without it turning into an argument, one or the both of you are harboring some hidden anger.

*You feel relieved when your spouse is not around. You prefer anyone elses company over theirs - If you cannot stand to be in the presence of your spouse that is a strong indicator that you are in crisis.

*You drive around for awhile after work because you dread going home. Home is where the heart is, and if you do not want to go home...well you know the rest

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*You do not laugh together anymore - If every conversation is serious and/or stressful, you have lost the joy in your relationship.

*You disrespect one another - One of the greatest things one spouse can give to the other is respect. When respect is lost and your spouse is cursing and calling you names, YOUR MARRIAGE IS IN CRISIS.

Those are just five signs of a marriage in trouble. There are far more than that. However, if even one of the signs are familiar to your marriage, it is time to take action! One of the most important things in a marriage is unity. When you are emotionally separated, physical separation is not far off.

If you cannot talk to your spouse, try writing a heart felt letter. Not a letter that criticizes your spouse, but one that lovingly explains how you feel. Be sure to begin the letter by, expressing your positive feelings about your spouse. If you don't have any at the moment, think about the qualities that made you fall in love with them in the first place.

Are you tired of living in a relationship in which you feel neglected? Many married people find themselves feeling alone and rejected by their spouse. If you feel taken for granted, there's a way to change that now.

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"Just a minute."

How many times a day or week do you hear that phrase? Sometimes it's said by your spouse when you're trying to tell them something important. Sometimes you hear it when asking a question of a colleague at work. More often than not, you'll hear it when you make a phone call to a business or other organization.

How do you respond when you hear it? That response can tell you something about yourself. If you're irritated or upset by having to wait, it could be that pride has crept in. Irritation can be a sign that subconsciously (or consciously) you feel your time is more valuable than whoever is causing the delay.

It could be that you're busy and don't have time to wait a minute, especially if that minute stretches out to 10 or 15. Maybe you expected to get right through and when that expectation wasn't met, it was irritating. Whatever the case may be; that irritation is a sign that your thinking is self-centered. You're more concerned about your priorities and not the person who has asked you to wait.

Philippians 2:3 tells us not to do things out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but instead we are to put others ahead of ourselves. When the "just a minute" type of delay, interruption, or inconvenience hits and the irritation quickly rises, it's a sign that you're not fulfilling the principle in this verse.

Now think for a moment about your relationship with your spouse. How many of those irritations pop up during the day? They can happen when your spouse tries to talk to you while you're on the computer or watching TV, or when the dirty clothes don't make it to the hamper, or your spouse fails to meet one of your expectations. While there may be good reason for being irritated, it goes back to putting your needs and wants ahead of your spouse's.

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That irritation is usually quickly noted by your spouse and can lead to them getting irritated, which can lead to an argument or fight. The little thing spurred on the fight, but the root cause was the attitude demonstrated by the irritation. When that attitude isn't dealt with, the little things will continue to blow out of proportion and the relationship is damaged.

How do you stop that irritation from happening? You have to deal with the root issue, which most often is not with the other person, but with you. That root issue is most likely pride or self-centeredness. The answer is found in Philippians 2:4 which says we need to put the needs of others ahead of our own. Instead of getting angry, try to look at the situation from the other person's point of view. If you were in their shoes, how would you like to be treated? Then, act accordingly.

Paul goes on to say one way to accomplish this is to have the mind of Christ. He is God, yet he willingly humbled himself, was born as a man, and humbled himself even further to die on the cross even though he was innocent. Why did he do all that? Because of his perfect love. He put your needs and welfare ahead of his own to the point of dying a cruel death so you could live. It wasn't easy, it wasn't fair, we didn't deserve his sacrifice, but he did it anyway because his focus wasn't on any of that. His focus was on his love and what was needed for us to experience it in a personal, intimate way.

You and I need that same type of love for our spouse. It's a love based on a choice, not a feeling. You may not feel love for your spouse right now, but you can still choose to love them. When you make that choice and consistently put their needs ahead of your own, the feelings will follow. You'll find yourself becoming less and less irritated with them.

When you apply that to other situations and begin to focus on others and see their needs as more important than yours, you'll find the amount of irritation you face in a day will continue to decrease. So, the next time you hear "just a minute," instead of getting upset, ask God to help you see the situation from the other person's perspective and thank him for the reminder.

Couples can love one another and yet find themselves drifting apart and headed for a divorce. There are steps you can take, with or without the aid of your spouse to get your marriage back into the loving place it once was.

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If you want to prevent a divorce, I wish to consider you my friend and want to help you. I have gone through all that, and I know it perfectly well how horrible a feeling this is. But know that your actions will determine the fate of your marriage. Everything might seem hopeless to you right now, because you tried everything you could - that is how I felt. But after receiving some outside advice I found out that I hadn't tried any "real" methods on how to prevent divorce and save a marriage at all!

So, what are they? First, you have to get rid of your desperate, needy mood. You definitely shouldn't look desperate to your spouse. Straighten yourself out, for you will save your marriage! But you need to be calm first. If you let your emotions overwhelm you, you will end up pressing on your spouse for your marriage, and this will always backfire and you won't be able to prevent a divorce that way.

1. Stop Begging: Never forget that people want what they can't have. That works both ways. So whenever you are begging to your spouse, you are sending a subconscious message: "I am desperate, I need you! So I am very easy to have!". This works against you and your attempts to prevent divorce.

2. Be Absent: By "be absent for preventing divorce" I don't suggest that you should go away for a week or something. Just do not be in front of your spouse's eyes all the time. For example, in a Sunday morning, go out with your friends and don't come back home until it is night or evening. Do not be in front of your spouse all the time. This will make your spouse, either consciously or subconsciously; start to somewhat miss you.

Now Listen Carefully-

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