Husband and I Have Become Distant: How Do I Make My Marriage Good Again So My Husband Will Be Happy With Me
What makes a seemingly great relationship suddenly turn sour? Chances are, if a man suddenly pulls away, he's probably been unhappy in the relationship for a while. After all, most people don't just wake up in the morning and suddenly decide, "Hey, I don't think I'm into this relationship anymore."
The problem is most men aren't good at expressing their emotions. Throughout life they are taught to keep everything inside. They are taught to "be a man". This means your man may not tell you when something is wrong. Instead, he becomes quiet, distant, and simply pulls away, leaving you confused over what has happened.
It's absolutely critical that men feel understood and accepted for who they are. They need to feel admired by their wife in a relationship. If they don't, they will set up defensive walls and will be unable to love.
Many times men suddenly pull away when they start to feel like a woman is trying to change them. Suddenly the things he does aren't good enough. He starts to feel like he's always doing something wrong. When a woman starts to focus on a man's faults and flaws instead of admiring all the amazing things about him she fell in love with, then a man can immediately begin to feel distant.
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If a man feels that you disapprove of him in some way and want him to change, then it alienates him. He then becomes guarded and defensive.
Similarly, men will suddenly pull away if they no longer feel like they can make their woman happy. Men want a woman who is completely happy with them, but who can also be happy without them. If a man starts to feel like he is responsible for entertaining you or making you happy, then he can start to resent you.
Lastly, many men will suddenly pull away if they feel a relationship is advancing too fast or interfering with other aspects of their life. Men like having independence. They want a woman who enriches their life without detracting from the things they love like their work, their buddies, and their hobbies.
If a man isn't ready for a serious relationship and starts to feel like a woman is clingy, needy, or pushing for a commitment, then he can feel smothered and will tend to become distant. Similarly, stress can cause a man to need time to himself. If a man suddenly pulls away from you, the best thing you can do is give him some space.
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Keeping the fire of love burning as it should in marriage requires some work. When you have two different people with different, taste, personalities, behaviors, views, and thoughts it may at times seem like a large order to like each other let alone have the fire of love in the relationship.
When add the elements of jobs, children and the many other various things that can take a person time and energy it is no wonder there is a big need to place priority on your marriage. It is during these times of high stress that many couples begin to entertain the idea of divorce.
If you have been experiencing marital problems of any kind is usually the best thing to take the time to save your marriage. Not knowing what to do during these times can put the marriage into an even more disadvantaged state. Finding good help about how to save your message is important and often available right on the internet.
It is best to do what you can to save your marriage. Maintaining open communication is very important during this time. Things can be said that may hurt but you will want to make sure the communication remains open. You may need to get assistance to make sure the lines of communication do stay open.
Marriage has a way of letting you see another`s less than better side but it is important to remember not all of your sides are best either. Both of you have some flaws and you need to love each other regardless of the flaws. You have to accept each other the way you are. Yes, you have to have unconditional love for each other.
Dealing with marital problems is essential if you are going to save your marriage. You can not give up on your spouse or your marriage. Keep the fire of love in your marriage.
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Do you sometimes feel that your marriage is blissful? Well, think again.
Here are some common problems that couples normally take for granted that lead to marriage in crisis:
More than two kids
Big families are more common in Asia but still the number of kids in the family must be well thought and planned by couples. Problems that may arise from this aside from the budget is the lost of privacy and personal space. Couple may suffer working for the family and kids need alone forgetting about their own needs.
As they strive hard to support the family, couples forget enjoying each other companionship and having a little fun that gradually become the cause for marriage in crisis. Later in their marriage life they will find that they are growing apart and do not love each other anymore. The emotions just died down.
Being too conscious about what other people say
Image or reputation is everything. Partners do want to please everybody especially the other people looking at them. Husbands sometimes are too keen with their status, image, and what others think that they consider them as more important than what their own spouse thinks that lead to marriage in crisis.
Gathering comments for decision or plain discussion is good but if you make it as the main basis of your decision rather than your partner then you need to revisit discussions and events and realize that you have ignored your partner fully. Marriage involves making decisions as partners first considering other people opinions.
Always remember that other people do not govern your life nor strive to work for the success and well-being of your family but you and your partner do need to work so the relationship and the marriage may survive.
What if your spouse don't love you anymore? Here's how to get them addicted to you like when you fell in love for the first time
Too proud to accept wife's opinion
People who are too proud to accept mistakes about their opinions do not listen to their partners but simply make their words a rule in the house. This will lead to the wife having no participation in the decision-making about things in the house, the kids, and the marriage.
This situation may survive for a limited number of years but not for the life of the marriage because ignoring your partner opinion will make her feel ignored, less valued, and naturally make her feel upset that it begins to break her confidence and psychologically influences her self-worth. The husband may think that this behavior is normal since he thinks of himself as head of the family.
Try to revisit some major decisions and events in your life and you will know that you are the only one making the decision and your wife is trying hard to make a little life of her own. This leads to a marriage in crisis that deliberately set you apart from your partner. Then your partner tries to cope up her breaking self-worth crisis by building a separate life of her own even if you are still living together.
The moment she regains her self-worth and confidence she will ultimately decide to leave you especially if she is successful with her career or business and unknowingly you have never been a part of it.
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Today in this 21st century when considering getting married please don't go into the relationship thinking that you will be able to change each other. When planning your big day; The Sacramento Bride & Groom can help you plan out your wedding! For those of you who have never been married before, you must allow for a period of adjustment once married! Living with someone is not the same as dating or being married. You have not really made a total commitment and you realize that you can opt out at any time...
After the honeymoon period is over and you hit a kink see this as an opportunity to take your marriage to a deeper level! It is during this time you need to work together rather than pull farther apart!
If you have not married; please do not manipulate your potential spouse into a relationship; because if you do it will be an ongoing dynamic in your relationship! You should genuinely care for this person and desire to grow together! You want to encourage transparency in order to build a strong secure marriage! Before marrying really have some candid and open discussion as to how you would like things to be in order to see if you are on the same page! Don't just assume?
For those of you in the Sacramento Area, The Healthy Marriage Project teaches a class that helps builds couple and family strengths! It is called "Smart Steps!"
It is a good thing to find out more about what each other likes and dislikes! Are you a morning person? Do you sleep with socks on? Do you snore? Are you patient? Do you yell scream and curse to get your way? Or do you sulk and stay quiet, remote cold and inexpressive? Or do you like to talk things through... Do you quit when the going gets tough?
What if your spouse already left you? Here's how to get them back.
It really is the seemingly little things that add up and lead to arguments! It is easier for some to say how they feel when they are angry! Learn to be open and honestly discuss how you are feeling... Don't make sorry a sorry word! Chill out and warm up to one another! It really is better to say "I am hurt!" Don't let pride and insecurity dominate your marriage! How else will you settle disputes? Please do not think that by not talking about issues they will go away; they won't!
Now that we have discussed some of the not so good things we can move towards what it takes to build a better marriage! You sit down at work and discuss whatever the problem is, right! Why? Because work is a priority and you do not just opt out of your job when things are not going your way! It is important that you like and respect one another in marriage even more so! Why? Because you say you love this person! You love them enough to get to know them better! You like them enough to care about their wellbeing! You care enough to develop loyalty in your marriage! Make sure to have a weekly marriage date! It is important not to lose sight of this or you will just take one another for granted and improving the marriage will no longer be a one of your top priorities!
Life is about priorities and taking the time out to do or tend to the people and things that are important to you! Marriage is the ultimate relationship between a man and a woman! If your marriage is going to last you have to make a conscious effort to work at it and keep the embers of love burning! To keep it exciting! To do interesting and adventurous things together still! You want to build a mutually satisfying sexual relationship between you as well! Coming together physically as one should be a special time of sharing... To experience a time of euphoria that can be experienced when you freely give of yourselves to one another in a loving environment. Keep the embers burning and be affectionate and caring towards one another! Each couple is different so together build what works for you... It is okay to have your physical needs met, no reason to be ashamed. The marriage bed is honorable in the eyes of the LORD! Tend your marriage as you would a lovely well kept garden! Take care and tend it as you do everything else that is important in your life. If you leave your clothes lying all over the place and hang them up whenever you want to guess what? If you are selfish and insensitive and don't really care what happens, guess what? Be attentive, respectful and thoughtful towards one another!
What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?
To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!
Preventive maintenance is the key! Each marriage is different and each marriage is what you make it! If you want to make it better and if you want to improve start improving you! Stop neglecting yourself and only fixing yourself up for everyone else or when you go to work or attend worship...! Men are visual and so are women. Change for the better not the worst! Do you take care of yourself like you did when you were dating? We are older; no! Still no excuse! Age like a fine antique... Or do you just throw yourself together now because after all you are married to him or her so what! Be the BEST YOU at any age!
Your marriage can last! Marriage can be a wonderful experience of growing with the one you love! Make it a point to get better not bitter! You truly can continually refine your relationship!
Make it a point to keep your marriage and your spouse happiness a priority! You can still enjoy the company of friends and loved ones. But don't let everyone else but your spouse know what is going on with you and how you are feeling about you or them! Keep one another and your marriage a priority! True Love lasts through forever! You both desire what is best for one another and you want one another to be the "Best You" you can be with one another by your side! This is true when God is in the center of your marriage! You want and desire your marriage to last! You can't make them happy but you can contribute to creating an intimate, loving, caring, warm, transparent, stable, mutually inviting environment where both of you can continue to grow and flourish together and make a beautiful fragrant bouquet that says "I LOVE YOU!" Now and through FOREVER!
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.
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