One way separated couples with kids have found a way to coexist without conflict is through "parallel-parenting" or "parallel co-parenting". This is an agreement made by divorced parents in which they are able to co-parent by means of disconnecting from each other and having as little direct contact as possible.
Everyone hopes and longs for the day that they find their special someone. It is no secret that most people can't wait until they tie the knot and walk down that aisle with their significant other.
However, more often than expected, people end up parting ways with their beloved spouse. In fact, forty to fifty percent of married couples in the United States end up divorced.
With the separation rate being so high, it's important for these couples who have kids to make sure that their children still have a healthy and happy childhood.
Parallel co-parenting is meant for couples who have come to the conclusion that they would be better off, along with their kids, by disengaging from one another. Each parent focuses on being the best father or mother they can when the children are under their personal care.
Within this arrangement, parents may take on different decision-making responsibilities. Just one parent may take the lead on decisions in certain areas such as health or extracurricular activities. Now let’s take a look at some of the important benefits that come with the parallel approach.
Parallel co-parenting relies on parents mainly communicating electronically, such as by using text, email or other co-parenting apps.
Digital technology allows you to relay or discuss important information about your kids without having to meet and have conversations in person. In addition, it helps prevent your children witnessing any type of conflict that could arise when communicating.
Since parallel co-parenting allows you to agree on disagreeing, there is no stress that comes with your decisions. Your ex cannot get mad if you let your child do something they would otherwise not agree with, thus dampening conflict. No more getting that lecture about "Why did you allow that to happen?"
Although the familial structure is broken, the child is able to maximize and enjoy the individual time spent with each adult. If parents are aware they will not be lectured by one another for the way they spend time with their child, they are more likely to enjoy their care time. Children are able to enjoy meaningful time with both parents.
It is evident that post-divorce parental relationships are hard and present situations that no one wants to be in. However, it's important that you find a system that works for you to ensure that your kids have the best childhood they could possibly have.
Parallel co-parenting is a terrific solution for parents who may not always be able to communicate in a pleasant and effective manner. Digital communication is a way to remove conflict from the equation. For the betterment of kids hopefully, each parent takes their own individual responsibility for their contribution towards raising their child.
Clare McLeod is a research psychologist. She has a Master of Professional Psychology degree from Monash University.