Do You TRUST LOVE?

Do you trust love? Because most people don't. Could it be because most people encounter so many imitators and obstacles before they meet the real thing? Probably.

Society, in general, does not educate people about true love. It's a mystery to most. It requires vulnerability. Therefore, it seems risky. After all, there are no guarantees it will last. Is there a “love insurance”? I don’t think so.

But one can not live fully without love. Most people spend their entire lives seeking it. Yet when they find it, they hold it from afar. They poke it. They trample over it. They call it weak. They distrust it. They often don’t value it if it comes too early. They just pass by it without giving it a second glance.

Perhaps they are afraid the prince will turn into a frog as so many have before it. Yet one can not truly know love unless it it permitted to unfold. Blossom is a better word. And that, my friend, takes time.

Let's expose the imitators of love. First there's the adolescent phase where the most handsome guy or the prettiest girl in the class is at the top of the food chain. You know. They have beautiful eyes that glitter when they smile. Maybe they have perfect white pearly teeth. And did I mention a sense of humor that goes on for days. Everyone likes him or her. Everyone wants to be him or her. Yet he or she is often the most insecure person in the room.

People don't know that that handsome guy or gorgeous girl is just as lost and insecure as every one else in the class. They don't understand what people like about them. All they did is win the gene pool lottery. They had nothing to do with it.

And if everyone will just stand by long enough, they will make it to the fiftieth year class reunion to see how bald ,ugly, toothless and shallow they really are. You will be glad you never dated that person who never developed him or her self because everyone told them “You are a god. Don't ever change.”

You know this because you first saw what it looks like on tv or in a movie. Therefore, it must be true.

Ironically some people never graduate from the adolescent phase and continuously find “eye candy” to idolize. And they still get disappointed when they get a “cavity” because it turned out to be all sugar and no substance. But they often move on and repeat the same pattern anyway.

Then there are the “reality shows” that tell viewers that there is a land of paradise where they can date dozens of people, sleep with as many as they can remember after unlimited drinks from “a bar behind the scenes”, and select one to carry and marry. What? It didn’t last? Wasn’t that true (albeit convenient) love? They wake up the following morning and tell the world, “No”. It was a mistake for tv ratings.

Perhaps you prefer the fictional “house wife” approach who stacks diamonds over her swollen opioid fingers every time she or her surrogate “releases” a baby from the loins. She has a premarital agreement that states she must maintain a certain weight, even after childbirth, and will be rewarded (money, cars, clothing, or jewelry) every two or three years for pristine public appearances. And an extra bonus every decade she stays. She will likely negotiate it down to five years and include therapy. Is that love?

How about the other end of the spectrum who was abused so much as a child that he or she comes to a distorted belief that any physical human contact (even if it's a fist or molestation) means that other person really cares deep down inside, they just don't know how to express it. After all, the first person who showed them that type of contact was a close personal relative, neighbor, baby sitter or other. Is that true love? Definitely not!

Last is the lucky group of people who actually do find true love. They find that person who starts off as a true and sincere trustworthy friend.

They go out together. They have mutual interests. They take time to get to know each other better. They respect each other even with their differences.

They make time to allow each other to speak and equal time to listen to the other. They can dream aloud without criticism. The other puts fire under the good dream to catapult the confidence in the other to bring it to fruition.

They don't step on each others words, desires, dreams, or beliefs. They can question each other without either feeling condemned but rather enlightened and conscientious.

Eventually each can not imagine living in this world without the other. But then there are “the others”.

The “others” are those who make you question what you know to be true. They tell you to consider your “other options” even though there is no one else but “the one” glowing in your heart. However, if it’s a true friend, they will also help you see if it isn’t truly the one. But the process of learning and seeing the truth for your self is still necessary.

When it’s real, you are becoming a better person. You are spending more time with the one who loves you. You are kinder to others. True love brings out the best in you.

But some of your “old friends” are jealous. They can't seem to put your happiness above their envy. They miss “you” hanging out with “them”. Some of them have not yet found, nor believe they can find, “the one”.

They see you are “floating away from the “pack” to tie the nuptials for life. Your heart is ready to be complete. But now it seems you have to fight. The fight is within your self. Do you accept true love or not?

You want your friends and family to see what you see but they either can't or won't because they don't have what you have. At least not yet. So you must decide for your self. Everyone does.

You've now learned there is such a thing as true love. Though even when you find it, you must hold on to it. And that, like any other beautiful blossoming garden, requires the pruning of weeds, and continuous watering with time, love, trust and forgiveness. You are not wrong. Love is good. And the battle is worth it.

Some friends (and family) will stay the course because they are true. Some will leave. Let them. But true love is forever.

Having a whole life is to learn about love. To do so, one must first get to know one-self. Love yourself.

One must discover those gifts and talents which are often like hidden treasured gems within. Ironically, as one does so, one usually meets that special someone who truly sees him or her from the inside out.

There is nothing to hide. You can now articulate your needs because you are on the right path. And you can recognize another being authentic because you are now being your authentic self.

Life is ironically simple when we don't complicate the truth. And love is truthful.

So be honest. Do what you are called to do. Fulfill your purpose. Remember, there is an Eternal Creator so high above all that is shallow and mundane that wants you to be happy. Do that.

Eventually, you will be that lucky someone who attracts another lucky someone who loves you being who you are. Don't allow anyone to get you off that track. Hold on. Love will find you along the way. Honest!

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