Two people. Same life circumstances. One has a positive mindset. The other…doesn’t. Think about them both for a moment, what images come to mind? Does one appear happy, handling life with grace, taking setbacks with perspective, while the other seems “off”, struggles with bumps in their path, seems to find the gloom in everything? Pause for a moment and reflect on your circle of friends, I’m sure you can find examples of both. How do you feel around each of them?
The Quality of how we perceive things in the world— positive or negative— and how we view our ability to operate in the world— has a HUGE impact on our mood, productivity and the quality of our relationships; even the quality of our thinking. Research shows that your outlook actually affects your perception. For example, people with a negative outlook perceive tasks to take longer than those who view life in a more positive light. Besides leaving you feeling better, a positive attitude has other payoffs. It gives you the stamina to push through challenging moments, and confidence in yourself that will help you be in action in your life; making the things you want to happen, happen.
I probably don’t have to tell you the costs of having a negative outlook. Because most of us have been around Debbie-downers, right? They suck the life out of you. They suck the life out of themselves. Think about the happiest people you know, the ones that are really LIVING life. Some of them have been through some seriously tough times. Yet how they view their experiences makes all the difference.
What does a positive mindset look like?
It says “I’ll figure it out.”
It believes in the good, your ability and the possibility…in themselves and those around them.
It has faith in things will work out. Without that faith, it’s tough to generate the drive to get busy solving a problem or working on a goal.
It uses the skill of positive re-framing; this means that when you notice yourself seeing something in a negative light, you know to pause and re-frame the situation in a positive way. Re-framing takes practice, but it’s magic for your mood.
When things go badly, a positive mindset doesn’t spend much time asking why something happened or focusing on how unfair it is. It understands that life is hard sometimes, and choosing to face it with a positive attitude will make it a lot easier.
Don’t misunderstand those with a positive mindset; they’re not looking at life through rose-colored glasses, they’re not naïve or dismissive either. They are choosing the outcome of the situations around them; they are choosing to reflect and gain perspective.
I’d like you to take an honest look at yourself. Are you a glass-half-full or half-empty person? If you answered half-empty, I want you to realize that this isn’t set in stone. It’s just a way of looking at things that you’ve adopted. And that is possible to change that and tap into the power that a yes mindset gives you.
What would be possible for you if you choose to adopt a “yes” mindset?
This will take practice, but here’s a trick. Before bed, take a moment to reflect on your day, what went well and what didn’t. For each of your “bumps” in your day, how did you handle them? Did this minor event impact the rest of the day? If so, what could you do differently next time? What’s important here is to look for trends, the events you overcome and the events you struggle with. Keep this journal for a few weeks, and see if any trends jump out at you. I am happy to teach you some techniques to see your blind spots, Drop me a line when you are ready, and let’s get started!
By Dr. Lee Odescalchi
Lee Odescalchi is a coach and licensed psychologist. She has coached and counseled clients, just like you, looking for more fulfilling lives. Her unique approach uses the most effective methods of personal development and performance strategies. She does this while addressing issues from the past that have led to self-limiting beliefs that get in the way of your success. Lee also empowers people to “get out of their own way” and maximize their strengths so they can produce extraordinary results… in any area of their life.