Kicking Your Way Out of the Box!

Sometimes, the life of a “mature” person must be completely shaken, shifted and reshuffled to bring them to where they were meant to be in the first place! Some events are beyond our control that make those transforming shifts necessary: losing a job, children moving back home, a health crisis or death of a loved one. Other events open up the time and opportunities to explore new adventures. Even if you are experiencing issues that have hindered your ability to do what you love, think about how you can incorporate your desires into your newly developing everyday life.
First secret: If you have not grown up by age 50, you don’t have to!

You? Getting Older? You Are Just Getting Started!
Could it be possible that age only counts with wine and cheese? By the time we have reached age 50 (or even 40), many of us have pushed important dreams and goals deep into the back of life’s closet. Situations, obstacles and excuses may have taken up residence in our homes and our heads, replacing our dreams with the ever-changing world we call “life”. Yes, our lives may have taken a different course, filled to overflowing with work and relationships that left little or no time to pursue our original goals. By the time we are a Boomer or older Gen X’er, we often feel it is too late to get out of that all too familiar box. Some reasons may be legitimate for a season; others are based on fear or lack of self-confidence. The more time and energy we expend entertaining those reasons, the more difficult it is to kick our way out of that constraining box!

What steps can be added, or changes made, to your current lifestyle to bring those dreams to fruition? Let’s assess the experiences in your life to see how they can help you kick your way out of the box and live life to the fullest:

1. What is a true heart’s desire—a meaningful and important goal—you want to accomplish in your lifetime? Answer honestly without worrying about “how” to accomplish it.
2. A positive image is a vital secret for living your best life. What do you believe your personal and professional image is at this time? What would you like to change to reach your goal?
3. Up until now, how much time have you spent on yourself, your family and career? How has this impacted your ability to fulfill your desired lifestyle? How can you add, subtract or rearrange priorities?
4. What is different now? An empty nest? Are you married/divorced/widowed? Have you obtained a higher education? Is it necessary to now be a caregiver? Have children who were gone returned home? Do you have more or less time and money now?
5. How can you use these experiences to build new opportunities and help others in the process? Life lessons are awesome teachers that equip you to scale new heights.

First Step, a Self-Image Checkup
What does your self-image have to do with kicking down the door to new opportunities? Everything! In society as a whole, and in the working world, your level of self-esteem plays a crucial part in having the kind of career and relationships you truly want. What is self-image? It is how you see yourself, how you believe others see you, and how you allow yourself to be treated. Self-image affects not only your ability to get ahead in the working world, but how you get along with your family and those you come into contact with every day. It is one of the most important ingredients that give you the ability to move forward in life with confidence, knowing you deserve good things and that you “count” (are worthy). It makes you smile and helps you meet the challenges of life.
We often limit our success by the way we think, how we interpret ourselves and the world based on our past experiences. If we expect rejection, failure, and discouragement (due to past experiences, previous conditioning and self-talk), that is what comes knocking on our door. If we anticipate greater success, satisfying personal and professional relationships, or becoming a successful entrepreneur, guess what? Our energy and focus is like a magnet taking us towards those goals.
Unfortunately, some individuals follow the same format of defeat for a lifetime, unable to still reach their goal because they were not able to in the past. Why? There are any number of reasons, such as a myriad of personal struggles, lack of finances, limited education, their own personality traits, or the people closest to them causing hindrances. Some have faced the additional challenge of feeling like they never fit in, or have only heard discouraging words from parents, teachers, or others that have been a key part of their life. The list of characteristics and circumstances is limitless.
Our perceptions may be correct or may be completely false. However, how many opportunities do we miss because we do not perceive ourselves as good enough, competent enough, educated enough, or dressed nicely enough, for instance. We can fill in the blank with any number of reasons. Let’s show the world that we are smart, experienced, professional, and look the part of someone who knows where he or she is going and how to get there!
Do you want to “kick open the door” to a new life, career, or relationship? Do you lack the confidence to try for a new or long-time business or personal goal, the one you may have wanted since way back in junior high? Do you minimize your own skills and abilities by comparing your credentials to others? Instead, nourish and feed all of the wonderful attributes YOU possess. If someone’s years of experience, looks, youth, or bank account intimidate you from trying for that still-unfulfilled goal, focus on all of your attributes like your contagious enthusiasm, healthy humility, passion for excellence and superb people skills that far surpass what he or she has to offer.

Remember, even if your present talent or material possessions are not enough to get you to the finish line, you can still take the next step, and the next. The end result? Flourishing in the career you always dreamed of, marrying a quality man like you truly deserve, starting the civic organization that stokes a fire down in your soul, or whatever you love. For some, it may not be a career or marriage but fulfilling a creative need, like taking art or dance classes, joining a gym, attending interesting seminars, meeting with a group of individuals of like mind and interests. Helping others in a way that brings more joy into life, like mentoring a struggling student, volunteering at a hospital or library, taking some “me” time to soak in a bubble bath or have a pedicure, or any number of little experiences that can make life more enjoyable. Everyone needs and deserves time for themselves.

Perhaps it is time to assess what changes can be made in your current life or business plan. How can you increase your knowledge? How can you refine your image and communication skills? What local groups and online social media can you become active in to connect with others passionate about your same dreams and goals? Boomers need to learn from the younger generation and they also need the camaraderie and support of their own generation.

Boomer secret: It is NEVER too late to reinvent yourself! It is NEVER too late to start over no matter what has happened to you! Determine that your new life starts today! Remember the old saying, “If you always do what you've always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always had.” What holds you back? Are you over committed trying to make everyone else happy? You know what you need! Rehearse your new role in life from this moment forward!

• What would make me "feel" more confident in my exciting new Boomer life? Shall I take a class in public speaking, get a makeover, or join an organization or committee where I will make new friends and gain new skills?
• What kind of image am I formulating in the mind of others by my attitude, energy and appearance? Write your answers in a journal for a time and notice any patterns that emerge.
• What kind of energy am I projecting as a talented “mature” person? Is it positive, negative, forceful, supportive? Energetic or tired? Hopeful or hopeless? Determined or deflated? Ask a close confidante for feedback.
If you don’t like the hand you have been dealt in the game of life, create a new game!!!

Gravitate towards those things that make you happy and enable you to fulfill your life’s purpose. Before long, they will overtake and replace any dull, dark areas that previously had residence in your life. Choose the life of a spunky, thriving Boomer!