If you are feeling unsatisfied with your sex life, you are not alone. According to research, around 34% of Americans were unable to rate their sex lives as satisfying.
Sex plays an important part in deepening the bond and keeping the fire between a couple. This leads many couples to believe that if they are not ripping each other's clothes off every night, their relationship must have lost passion.
This brings us to the next question, is sex important in a relationship, or have we been brainwashed by the media to feel that it is? What level of intimacy is essential for strengthening the relationship bond?
Thankfully, the research has been done and those answers are clear. Let’s talk about the importance of sex in a relationship, and how you can keep a strong level of passion in your relationship.
Why is Sex Such a Big Deal?
There is no universal answer to knowing if sex in a relationship is vital for the overall success of a relationship.
It depends on multiple factors, such as the individual person and their needs, love languages, their beliefs, their values, their desires, and the foundation of the relationship itself.
Many fulfilling relationships do not have a regular sex life, in fact, 15% of married couples are in a sexless relationship, and they are as happy as ever.
However, for many other people sex is extremely important in a relationship. Sex can be seen as the ultimate form of expression between two people. For many, sex is the most satisfying part of a relationship, and is the only reason they are in the relationship to begin with.
So, which one of these two mindsets is right?
Understanding the Need
When talking about sexless marriages, it’s to explore why the relationship might be lacking sex in the first place.
If the relationship was never very sexual at the beginning, then perhaps there just needs to be a little fire brought back into the relationship to get the mojo going again. This is completely healthy and depends on the needs of both partners.
However, if the relationship started off being very sexual, and then has recently dropped off to no sexual activity, there could be some underlying issues.
There was a 2017 study that discovered the link between frequent sexual activity and overall well-being. Although, this applies to those who have a heightened sex drive and find great pleasure with frequent sexual activity.
What Causes a Lack of Sex in Relationships?
There are a few underlying reasons why partners are currently not having sex in a relationship. They can vary from personal reasons to medical reasons, and of course, relationship problems.
Abstaining from Sex Until Marriage
Many couples wait until marriage to experience sexual intercourse together. This could be for personal or religious reasons.
By prolonging the sexual experience, many couples claim it strengthens their bond in many other ways, leading to a low-key sexual desire once they get married.
Medical Conditions
Certain medical conditions, such as chronic pain, can lead to low libido. This depends on the individuals in the relationship if it will cause stress on their partnership or not.
Certain medications lead to a lower libido as well, such as birth control pills, SSRI's, and others.
Hormonal Imbalances
Many hormonal imbalances can lead to low libido in both men and women. For women, an imbalance in Progesterone and Estrogen will cause their sex drive to plummet. For men, a lack of testosterone is enough for them to "lose their mojo."
Mental Disorders
Many mental disorders, such as depression or anxiety, also contribute to low libido. According to John Hopkin's Medicine, a change in sex drive is a key symptom in determining whether a person has depression or not.
If there are extrinsic factors that have interrupted someone's life, their sex drive instinctively will be halted until they can solve those problems.
Relationship Struggles
Relationship struggles are perhaps the only determining factor for knowing if sex is important in a relationship or not.
If the relationship is experiencing some rocky moments (such as arguments, trust issues, and dishonesty) which lead to a lack of sex, then absolutely, sex is important for that relationship to succeed.
What is Intimacy?
Many people believe that the word "intimacy" equals sexual experiences. While this has some truth, it is not the entire picture.
Intimacy is the experience of mutual vulnerability, connection, and openness.
There are four different types of intimacy:
Emotional
Experiential
Intellectual
Sexual
Intimacy can be in the form of a conversation, sharing experiences, kissing, holding hands, cuddling, or sexual intercourse. So, in this case, is sex important in the relationship? The answer is probably not.
Communication is E ssential
If you feel that sex is important in your relationship, and you have not been fulfilled, you must have a conversation with your partner about it.
If you have an open and honest relationship, both of you can look for answers to help improve your sex life.
Mention to your partner that you have noticed some changes and are looking to communicate about ways to bring the mojo back into the bedroom. You may just need a weekend away to ignite those fireworks again.
Talking to a therapist, specifically a sex therapist, can help solve these issues too, as they have years of experience dealing with these situations.
Learn More About Sex and Relationships
So, is sex important in a relationship? The answer is still both yes and no.
It comes down to you and your partner's individual needs, and the experience of any sudden changes in your relationship.
If you feel that your sex life needs a boost, and have no idea where to start, feel free to contact us for a FREE consultation.
You deserve to feel like a highly desirable woman, and if you are not, we are here for you to help unravel those layers and help you get in touch with what you truly want and deserve.
Article and blog writer