Helping a person with low self-esteem can be a thankless job at first as far as the person can reject you and your attempts justifying it with their own ability to do it. The thing is that people can realize their lowered self-esteem on their own but they do not pronounce it aloud. Find out how to act and what to say to someone with low self-esteem in this article.
How to Help Someone With Low Self-Esteem (Snippet)
Typical methods like telling a person about how much they are mistaking about their appearance and identity, as well as forcing to talk about things they do not want to, is not the best bet. Instead, stay close, motivate the person to start a dialogue, point out their best features, encourage them to take care of their health, show positive examples, and be this example yourself.
How Do You Even Know That Someone Has Low Self-Esteem?
The most common “symptoms” are:
● constant negative comments about themselves and surrounding people, including you;
● a feeling that something “worse as brilliant‘ is unacceptable;
● anxiety when meeting other people;
● the absence of dreams and goals, or they are very bleak;
● passively aggressive behavior;
● constant worrying about what others think;
● neglecting personal hygiene and self-care.
There are also hidden symptoms that are invisible even to the eyes of best friends or relatives. For example, a person can make good money but refuse to buy something for himself, spending all his money on his family. In addition, as a rule, people with low self-esteem do not know what they want - and if some desire flashes in their thoughts, they quickly convince themselves that they are not worthy of it. For them, it’s easier to say what they don’t want than what they want.
How to Help a Friend With Low Self-Esteem?
If you have decided to do it, then you are already a trustworthy person. But this only the beginning on the way - and here are the tips for you (and your protege) on how to boost someone’s self-esteem.
Become a Reliable Friend
Insecure people usually tend to isolate themselves for different reasons, for example, the shame of appearance and extra weight. After being left without people to share their obsessive thoughts, they can even fall into depression. Becoming a friend and talking to that person can prove to them that you actually do care.
Do Not “Command” Them How to Act and What Point of View to Have
How to encourage someone with low self-esteem? Prove that their “natural” self is the best but it just needs some additional help to rise up. How does it work?
For instance, a person without the belief in herself says: “I am so stupid”. Responding “No, you are not. On the contrary, you are smart” is not an option because that person is used to believing that it is not true.
You can say “I am sorry to hear you feel like that. Why do feel that way?”. That is how you can develop the dialogue and actually make the person open up about her problems. Communication is what often leads to healing.
By the way, if your friend with low self-esteem gets depressed because of the academic assignments, show him or her the easiest way out. Just get instant help on Pick The Writer or Writing Judge students writing services review and feel free to be proud of yourself.
What to Say to Someone With Low Self-Esteem?
Tell your friend to “tune” their inner voice on the positive line. People locked in themselves are tangled and trapped in their own minds. Their own voice is telling them how non-confusing they are. Claiming that one believes in himself is a whole different thing from actually believing it. Suggest them to make their brain to say things like “I can do better”, “If I keep working on it, I will inevitably succeed” instead of phrases like “I always ruin everything”.
Volunteer Together
You probably know that helping others soothes your soul and dulls your own pain while easing others’. The person you are trying to help probably knows that, but they may be so consumed in their self-hate and obtrusive thoughts that they sometimes forget that feeling. Encourage them to help the family around the house with household chores as well.
Self-Care Therapy
People diagnosed with low self-esteem often think that they do not deserve proper care or that it is too selfish to take care of your body and mind. However, it is imperative to prove that self-care is the key to health, both mental and physical, and well-being.
Also, taking care of your appearance, although it may seem vain at first, can bring a lot of good. There are studies that demonstrate how poor diet, messed up sleeping schedule, and the deficiency of exercise affect the overall state of the human organism. And as we all know: we look good when we feel good. The assessment of our sexual attractiveness, fitness condition, and weight translate into happiness in life.
If a person you are trying to assist struggles to work out regularly, then exercise together. It will be equally beneficial for you and your friend. By the way, keep in mind that something is always better than nothing: it is better to do a 30+ minute work out every day, but if 10 min is all you can bear today, it is also okay, no need to punish yourself afterward. This detailed article tells a lot about making an effective workout plan.
If needed, support your friend in visiting a specialist - a hairdresser, dentist, fitness trainer, phycologist, beautician, masseur. Especially if there are nauseous health problems that seem to be just little dribbles but actually bring about a lot of discomforts. But you need to do some hard thinking about what to tell someone with low self-esteem to make them attend a specialist’s cabinet.
"Improving your body image takes time, requires effort and sometimes requires a community," said Dr. Nicole Hawkins, a certified psychologist, in the American media.
Show That You Are Not Perfect and No One Is Perfect Too
People with low self-esteem are very self-critical and when comparing to others, they choose the worst aspects of themselves and compare to the best features of others. Introduce him or her to a company which is infected with confidence and radiates warmth, friendliness, and positivity. It can show your friend where they can be and motivate to set a turning point.
Do Not Increase Their Feeling of Guilt
Looking at your friend from the outside, you see them differently, not as they perceive themselves. Thus when girls with low self-esteem criticize their bodies, we tend to wish that they see themselves differently. In results, we are making them think that they are wrong. Instead of imposing another way of seeing themselves, even if you try to do it as positively as possible, we should be there and wait until they are ready to open up on their own and only talk when they wish to talk about it.
Set an Appropriate Example
Honestly, we are not always in the best mood to talk about the acceptance of our individuality. But changing a few linguistic reflexes can undoubtedly set the tone. For a start, you can talk about yourself in a healthy way: without systematically evoking the negative aspects, proving how unperfect you are, and pouring all of your problems and anxieties out, mention the things that you are proud to have achieved. It is about pretending you love yourself, it is about creating the right atmosphere of benevolence and positivity. "A positive statement about your body means by definition that you don't necessarily believe it, but that we want to believe it," says Dr. Hawkins.
Summary
Being equipped with advice, you will be able to help your friend fix their life. The main thing is to not intervene in their privacy too much and respect their willingness to let the change happen gradually without any rush.
John Edwards is a writing specialist who is looking for ways of self-development in the field of writing and blogging. New horizons in his beloved business always attract with their varieties of opportunities. Therefore, it is so important for him to do the writing.