Two extremes can invade your thought process and cause you to lose your battle with self and others. One says, “I don’t care,” and the other says, “It’s not my fault.”
Aloof-ism is a word I created that refers to the mental and emotional escape route for any personal responsibility revealed by the pronouncement, “I just don’t care.”
When you are aloof, you are insensitive and self-absorbed with a cold-fish kind of personality. If you care not one whit what happens to the person next door or in the next neighborhood, or the people in the next country, you’re an aloof-ism practitioner.
Aloof-ism is for losers: They seldom complete any project because they are dispassionate; few seek their company because they are cold-hearted; they live and die alone. Caring people, on the other hand, are productive, beloved, and honored. When something happens that hurts someone else, a strong person, a caring person, a godly person, finds a way to bring relief. You disavow and abandon aloof-ism as you practice the simple teaching of Jesus, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Aloof-ism is for losers because the aloof have no challenge to their life; they have nothing to work for and nothing to celebrate because nothing matters. This ism is personally and socially destructive. The great preacher of the last century, Peter Marshall, explained it’s dangers: A different world cannot be built by indifferent people.”
Excuse-ism is another loser belief system. Do you find yourself blaming all your troubles on others? Do you justify your bad habits or rationalize your immoral behavior? Someone said, “Excuses are lies we tell ourselves so that it doesn’t have to be our fault.”
There’s a soul-cleansing that accompanies admitting mistakes. You feel good when you fix something you broke or when you apologize for something you said or did. A loving apology demonstrates sincere regret and whispers a promise it won’t happen again. When you acknowledge your faults and take responsibility for your bad acts, you leave excuse-ism behind and create love and trust in your relationships.
Many years ago, I made a big mistake; everyone around me knew what I did, but I excused myself, pretended I did nothing wrong and blamed others. Seven years after the error was made, I asked forgiveness from those I offended; they forgave me. No more excuses, no more guilt, and, surprisingly, a renewed respect from the people I wronged.
Aloof-ism is personally and socially destructive. People who love and care for others are badly needed in a world of selfishness and greed.
Excuse-ism: phony rationalizations, blaming, and scapegoating, will get you nowhere. Excuses are for losers. Personal responsibility is for winners.
This list of bad belief systems you must lose to succeed will continue. Stay tuned for more!
Dr. Ross is an author, speaker, seminar leader. He is a co-founder of Powerful Seniors. He lives in Loveland, Colorado