Remember Sociopaths are opportunists and you are at risk for being that opportunity for him. I need five commitments from you if you want to avoid the wake of destruction that comes from dating a Sociopath.
1. Commitment to your Heart:
Healing a broken heart takes time in pain and sorrow. Dating a Sociopath? Yes, he is fun, exciting, seductive, and yes he is superficial, without conscience, without compassion, a liar, and looking for the opportunity you are. It is not IF your heart will be broken, it is WHEN.
Remember Ted Bundy (serial killer) was attractive, athletic, charming and he killed at least 30 women if not close to 100! Ted Bundy’s final words before he was electrocuted were, “I’d like you to give my love to my family and friends.” NO REMORSE! He wants to send love as though we are going to forget the horrible things he did to beautiful souls. Oh, I am going to die, I guess I’ll send love! Really? Think about that for a long while. Say no to the first date if you recognize the signs early. Say No immediately when you finally do recognize the signs. Be wary of seductive, fun, exciting, and look for superficial, lying, without compassion and conscience for openers.
2. Commitment to your wallet:
Healing from a broken heart is one thing, but add an empty wallet to the broken heart-not so good! Don’t pay when he forgets his wallet. Tell him “how funny I did too”. When you offer to pay when he forgets his wallet you “teach” him, “that was easy, I’ll forget it every time.” Sociopaths spot your weakness. They have to have that skill. It is how they make it in the world. In a healthy relationship, the way money flows is a discussion that happens. It is not decided by default (who forgot their wallet). Keep your wallet closed at the beginning of a relationship! If a man asks you out, he should take you to the place he can afford.
3. Commitment to NO Savior!
You may be a savior/caretaker in your career (or not), and do not be the savior in your relationship! When you hear about the lost wallet, broken down car, a job he just lost, the rent he needs to pay, or he will be on the street, OFFER empathy, and/or encouragement. Nothing else!!! (Ted Bundy got many of his victims by asking them to help him unload his boat/car!) Note to self. Helping people is a lovely quality in the right situation and dating a sociopath is not the right situation.
Relationship Inequality
One of the reasons people feel so traumatized when they have been “dumped” by a sociopath is the inequality of what they did for the relationship and what the sociopath did not do for the relationship. Equality in a healthy relationship is a good thing. Sometimes you are being helped and sometimes you are the one giving help. This does not happen with the sociopath. Listen to all the victim stories you want, and then offer Empathy and/or encouragement: “Life’s lessons can be tough and I am sure you will figure it out.” REALLY listening to all those victim stories may jar you out of his superficial seduction. Boring!
Continue reading the article here: https://backbonepower.com/how-to-beat-a-sociopath-at-his-own-dating-game
Dr. Anne Brown, PhD, RN of Sausalito, California, formerly from Aspen, Colorado in her private practice has served as the trusted advocate and advisor to Influential Corporate leaders, Trial Attorneys, Athletes, Leaders, Physicians and their families, many whose connections extend well beyond the town of Aspen.
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