Four Main Perspectives in the Game of Life

Four Main Perspectives in the Game of Life
By
Bill Cottringer

The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective. ~Al Neuharth.

Heroes, Villains, Victims and Bystanders

There are only four choices,
For all the unheard voices:
Be an honorable hero,
And gain respect.
Be a vicious villain,
And gain distain,
Be a sorry victim,
And gain sorrow,
Be a passive bystander,
And gain nothing.
Heroes use character,
Villains use anger,
Victims use pity,
Bystanders use nothing.
Heroes are positive and hopeful,
Villains are negative and selfish,
Victims are sad and hopeless,
Bystanders just wonder.
Heroes give up their self,
Villains give up others,
Victims give up everything,
Bystanders give up nothing.
Heroes don’t brag,
Villains do,
Victims complain,
Bystanders do too.
Heroes win and get ahead,
The rest lose and fall behind.
All should play fair,
Follow the rules,
And have some fun,
Until you learn one thing—
Did you make the right choice?

There are four main perspectives from which we try to deal with the three main conflicts that confront us all in the game of life—Us vs. life, Us. vs. others, and us vs. ourselves. These four different perspectives, or roles we play are: Hero, Villain, Victim and Bystander. Below is how these four perspectives play out in our attempt to resolve the three main conflicts that challenge us:

Heroes

• High positive empathy.
• Proactive Stance.
• Optimistic outlook.
• Accurate perception of reality.
• Healthy self-esteem.
• Assertive approach.
• Problem-solver.
• Good internal self-control.
• Constructive core values.
• Highly focused.
• Morally developed.
• Very likeable. VILLAINS

• High negative empathy.
• Mixed stance.
• Unrealistic outlook.
• Selective perception of reality.
• Over or under self-confidence.
• Aggressive approach.
• Problem creator.
• Lack of self-control.
• Destructive core values.
• Missing important details.
• Morally corrupt.
• Usually unlikeable.
VICTIMS

• Mixed empathy.
• Reactive Stance.
• Pessimistic outlook.
• Distorted perception of reality.
• Low self-esteem.
• Passive-aggressive approach.
• Problem-dweller.
• Externally controlled.
• Confused values.
• Diffused focus.
• Mixed morality.
• Likeable and unlikeable parts. BYSTANDERS

• Lack of empathy.
• Apathy.
• Inconsistent outlook.
• Indifferent perception of reality.
• Lacking self-confidence.
• Passive approach.
• Problem-avoider.
• Mixed inner/outer locus of control.
• Weak values.
• Unfocused.
• Morally challenged.
• Neither likeable nor unlikeable.

Life is very generous in giving us plenty of opportunities to try out each of these roles. But if we are not careful, the roles we choose to play at particular times and places can become very addictive, taking away our ability to choose a different one, especially when one doesn’t seem to have our best interests in mind. And overplaying one role past its welcome and productive benefits has an unwanted side effect. This secondary addiction occurs because each role has its own particular “rewards.”

The problem is that some of these “rewards” end up rather just being an external force to continue unproductive behaviors. Heroes can become addicted to all the enduring fame and recognition, Villains can become prisoners of their negative emotions, Victims can learn to like their irresponsibility, and Bystanders can wallow in their indifference.

When you find yourself being held as a hostage to one of these main perspectives, it may be time to become more sensitive to the point of no return before it comes and goes unnoticed. Life and everything in it are in a constantly moving flow and change is more the norm than not. The trick to stepping out of an undesirable perspective and into a better one, is mostly a matter of letting go of both the good and bad consequences, so that the addiction loosens its vice-like grip on you. When you are trying to chance something and are not getting results it is because you don’t want to give up the benefits, even the negative ones.

What you see as true and good depends mostly on where you are in time and place doing the looking. ~The Author.