Becoming Your Best Self - The 8 Elements That Allow Wholeness (Being Your Best Self)

In basic terms, wholeness is the ability everyone has to utilize all of our strengths, skills and abilities --without limitation -- in order to live our best life and be our best self. While '-ness' represents the quality or degree of something, the Merriam-Webster dictionary provides two definitions for 'whole' that I particularly like. The first is 'constituting the total sum or undiminished entirety' and the second is 'constituting the entirety of a person's nature or development'. As I use the term, wholeness captures the concept of the undiminished entirety of our nature, our best self.

Working on wholeness involves working on 5 steps and 8 life elements. As I often say, these concepts are 'simple', if not always easy to achieve. The important part is to stay focused on the journey towards wholeness.

The 5 Steps To Wholeness:

1. Accept responsibility for everything in your life.
2. Focus on the 8 Elements
3. Complete the Past
4. Plan for the Future
5. Live in the present

Step #2, Focus on the Eight Elements focuses on the 8 life elements that can interfere with creating the life we want. I believe that with enough of the following elements to satisfy our needs and wants, nothing would stop us from reaching our fullest potential, so creating reserves of the following elements is critical to the process. The 8 Elements are listed below.

1. Time. When we have all the time we need and want, we are calm and focused. In addition to having the time to accomplish what we want, this element also includes time for ourselves.
2. Space. Space includes not only the state of our home or other environments, but also the invisible zone that surrounds our body. This zone typically expands or contracts depending on where we are and how comfortable we feel.
3. Love. Having all the love we need or want involves feeling wanted, loved and included. We can be loved by one person or a community. This includes romantic love, spiritual love and all other forms of affection and companionship.
4. Money. Money includes money (incoming and invested) and the things that money represents and supplies. This includes security, stability, houses, cars and all the other stuff we buy with it. In addition, it includes our relationship with money. While true for all the elements, the idea of deserving (or not deserving) comes up most frequently around love and money.
5. Vitality. Vitality encompasses health, energy and a zest for life. It is not just lack of illness or lack of stress. There is also dynamic appreciation and enjoyment of life that pervades everything we do.
6. Purposeful Action. Purposeful action is just that: somewhere in our lives there is enough focused activity that gives us a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment, a sense of a job well done. It can be expressed in our careers, our families, or our communities; it can be creative, practical, or political; it can be paid or volunteered. The possibilities are endless, but it must be present in some form.
7. Strong Sense of Self. It is important to take the time to identify your core values, unmet needs, standards, boundaries, life purpose, mission and beliefs, both supportive and non-supportive. As you get clearer about 'who' you are, you awaken to your possibilities. Living 'in' integrity for me means my actions match my words which match my beliefs. I feel that living in integrity is like getting rid of the bumps and holes in the surface of the road. There is still a path to travel, but the ride is smooth and enjoyable.
8. Positive Self Regard. This is a combination of self-esteem, self-love, and self-care. Without a positive, balanced and healthy self-regard, it appears to be impossible to maximize the opportunities available when reserves of the other 7 elements are present.