Recently, while shopping in the market, a little girl tells her mother that she hates when she spends so much time with her boyfriend and not with her. The mother doesn't react to the little girl, but instead chooses to ignore her statement and kept on shopping for her groceries. The little girl wasn't sure whether her mom heard her or not so she decided to let it go and didn't say another word.
Has this ever happened to you? You think your having a good afternoon with your child and then all of a sudden they hit you with a question that takes you for a loop?
How would you handle it?
What would you say or do?
Are you embarrassed because the child asked you in a public place and you're not sure who may have overheard the conversation?
Or, are you upset that your child feels neglected due to your growing relationship with your special someone?
These are the kinds of questions one should think about when dealing with their emotions as a parent.
As a parent, you have decided to share your life with the children that you have given birth to and sometimes the choices that we make are not the best choices for the overall situation.
How you handle this question will effect how you will be presented with other questions from your child.
Think about it.
If you yell and scream at her for asking you a question that you may have found to be offensive, than she may refrain from telling how she feels about anything, for a while.
If she does that, you may miss out on some very important and necessary conversations in the future.
If you ignore her, you run the risk of treating her like what she thinks or says doesn't matter.
Better yet, if you hit her when you get home or put her on some kind of punishment for giving her opinion, then she may retreat into a shell and become angry or depressed.
So what should you do?
ASK QUESTIONS!! ASK QUESTIONS!! ASK QUESTIONS!!
Gently, ask her why she made that statement.
Ask her why she is feeling neglected or ignored.
Ask her what she thinks might be a solution to the problem.
By asking questions, you remove a mountain of guesswork and hone in on the specific problem or problems.
Maybe the child saw a movie that showed a mother leaving her kids after hooking up with a man, maybe you get more involved with the man than your child, maybe her childcare environment has changed and she is trying to tell you something else or maybe she is jealous of a new person taking up the time she use to share with you.
No matter what the reason for the question, the child is trying to tell you something and you should listen.
Talk it out and come to some kind of win-win solution.
Remember, you chose to make your child a part of your life and you have been trusted to love, protect, and provide for that child until they can do it for themselves.
I know it's hard sometimes and you have to make decisions you don't think is fair to you, but in the end your children and your purpose will be fulfilled.
Enjoy your children, so they can enjoy you!
Antoinette Capri is the author of "31 Ways to Brighten Your Days!" and a Personal/Parent Development Coach. Her mission is to guide, advise, and promote individuals into a positive self image, while creating healthy relationships.
For book purchase or speaking engagements, visit http://www.stressrelief31ways.com or email us: caprii.com@gmail.com