Stress and Sex: 5 Stressors that Can Put Your Libido on Hold

Some people are capable of doing many things well while under stress, but being in the mood for sex and/or feeling sexy usually isn’t one of them. Stress is pretty high up there as one of the top reasons for why couples are not having sex!

Here are 5 common stressors that might be getting in the way of, or actually completely killing, your sex drive. And good news – there are solutions to each!

Stressor #1: Prescription Medication
Many prescription drugs have the side effect of decreasing one’s sex drive, especially the commonly prescribed anti-depressant medication Prozac. Other classifications of drugs that have loss of libido as a side effect include: chemotherapy, antihistamines, blood pressure medication (Lipitor), some oral contraceptives and HIV medications.

Solution: Talk to your doctor and ask her if she can change the medication you are on for one that offers the same benefits, minus the loss of libido side effect.

Stressor #2: Parenting – The Kids are Exhausting You!
If you have a new baby, your sweet little bundle of joy requires what feels like 24/7 attention. Or maybe you have toddlers running around who possess an inordinate amount of energy. Or school-aged children who need to be chauffeured around. No matter what the situation, it’s causing you to run out of steam by the end of the day!

Solution: Get a babysitter or family member and get out of the house for a day, an overnight and/or long weekend. Do it – even though you might be feeling too exhausted to arrange this – consider it to be like exercise. You don’t usually feel like doing it, but once you do, you are so glad you did.

Stressor #3: Poor Body Image
Most of us don’t look like we did when we were 21 years old anymore, but we lament this fact and let it get in the way of how we feel about not only our bodies, but ourselves as well. In other words, poor body image promotes poor self-esteem. Poor self-esteem makes us feel unlovable – and feeling unlovable lowers our sex drive.

Solution: Your partner fell in love with you – your heart and soul. A few pounds gained over the years does not diminish the value of who you are in the heart of your lover. (Chances are they don’t look 21 anymore either). If you have gained a few pounds over the years, (and who hasn’t?) you might consider adding exercise to your daily routine – even if it takes the form of simply walking the stairs in your office instead of riding the elevator. Do whatever you need to do so you can begin to feel better about your body image. And remember: the models on the covers of all those magazines are air-brushed and touched up until the cows come home. Don’t think “real” women look like that. I sure don’t know any who do!!

Stressor #4: Alcohol
Alcohol has a reputation for reducing one’s inhibitions when it comes to sex, but alcohol is also a common cause for numbing your sex drive. (FYI – your partner might not be in the mood for getting it on with someone who is intoxicated).

Solution: Keep the alcohol to what is considered to be a reasonable amount for you. A slobbering drunk isn’t sexy anywhere –including the bedroom. Hey, I’m not saying you can’t have a drink or two – just don’t imbibe to the extreme.

Stressor # 5: Lack of sleep
Whether this results from worry, insomnia, or sleep apnea, sleep deprivation creates body fatigue. And fatigue zaps the energy you need for sex – interfering with your sex drive.

Solution: Make it your priority to get enough sleep. If you have a medical condition that you think might be interfering with your sleep, see a physician. If you are sleep deprived because you love to watch late night TV- TiVo your shows and watch them another time.