If part of your New Year’s resolution is to improve your relationship and enjoy better sex, then listen up! Intention is certainly the first step; however it will also take thoughtfulness, preparedness and action to make any drastic improvements. In the previous article, there are 7 Great Tips for Improving Your Sex Life – so hopefully it will be helpful in that department. Let’s focus more now on improving your personal relationships with the way we communicate with others.
Whether you’ve been in a 20-year marriage or are with a new potential lover, basic communication skills are beneficial in all types of relationships. One of the most important facets of communicating is to listen, and to be fully present to what is being shared. Most people feel empowered and appreciated when another person is genuinely interested in what they have to say. It is courteous and respectful to give your full attention when someone is talking. Allow them to finish their sentence or thought stream without interruption until they break for you to respond. Be attentive to their wants and needs, as well as their fears or concerns.
When you can communicate in a conscious way, your awareness expands and intuition is stronger. You can read between the lines so to speak, as non-verbal communication is generally more significant than spoken words. Pay attention to facial expressions, especially the eyes, as you can sense how someone is feeling – even if they don’t necessarily say so. Sometimes there may be emotional pain and insecurity behind forced smiles or a comedic facade. Many people have a difficult time sharing how they really feel and may be reluctant to ask for help or divulge personal issues. You can gently probe with sensitive questions to see if they are comfortable talking about it.
It is good to ask open ended questions such as, “How do you feel about ____?” When you are more specific with your questions, then the answers will usually be more defined. When you ask a more standard vague question; “How are you?” Generally you’ll get a mechanical response like, “I’m fine, how are you?” Avoid meaningless small talk as you’ll only scratch the surface with empty clichés and typical chatter. There’s only so much you can say about the weather or what you had for dinner. Let’s strive to be a bit more original and interesting with what we wish to express and how to pose more evocative inquiries to dive deep into another’s soul.
Meaningful relationships will naturally develop and strengthen when you can open up and speak from your heart. Bypass the trivial chitchat and get to the root of who you are, sharing your greatest life’s passions and deepest desires. When you communicate on this level, a profoundly intimate connection can be made forevermore. Some people may feel afraid of ‘getting too close’, especially men when it comes to revealing their darkest secrets or exposing any self-perceived weakness. You can be sensitive to these issues and invite them to talk about what they are most proud of, or whom they admire most and why. The more skillful questions you ask of someone, the more you find out what kind of person they truly are and if you really want to spend more time getting to know them.
When it comes to sex, communication is the most essential aspect. You communicate with your eyes, your breath, your body movements, as well as your words. You can gently guide your partner with your hands to show him what you want, or whisper cues to let him know what feels good or to try something else. Sex is a mutual energetic exchange, so the best thing you can do is to actively participate! Most men appreciate a fun playful partner, so be creative and sincerely expressive with your words and actions. Initiate more foreplay with bringing out a toy, or some tingling stimulating gel, as he will love facilitating more intense orgasms for you. If you enjoy a little extra lubrication during intercourse for easier slide action, then take the initiative to keep it handy and dispense as needed. These great products and more can be found at: http://www.oceanusnaturals.com/special-offers.php?source=Blog
Allura Joy has worked with women of all ages and of diverse backgrounds for many years in offering support, holistic therapy and relationship counseling, as well as sharing valuable resources and useful information in the areas of women’s sexuality, health & wellness. Allura has facilitated various women’s groups, retreats, conferences and special events for women to come together in community to share, connect and support one another.
Allura also works with women individually to help resolve personal issues around relationships and intimacy, specializing in helping women who may have emotional and/or physical issues and insecurities with sexual expression and experiencing orgasm. She enjoys helping clients explore their passions in finding a sense of purpose and to manifest their dreams and desires. She is a certified Hypnotherapist, Life Coach, NLP Master Practitioner, Licensed Massage Therapist and Yoga Instructor.
Allura enjoys writing articles to empower women in their sexuality, promoting a healthy fulfilling sex life - with or without a partner! Check out my blog, Straight UP Girl Talk with Allura at: http://www.oceanusnaturals.com/blog/