The church I attend had a Burning Bowl ceremony this past Sunday, New Year's Eve. I'd never heard of anything like that before. It turned out to be a great idea. As the ceremony was explained, I remembered doing something similar with my two kids several years back.
I asked my kids one year, a day or two before New Year's Eve, if they wanted to try something I'd come up with. They know that part of my job description (or so I've told them) is being goofy. That leaves me with a lot of leeway. I suggested we write down on scraps of paper things we want to leave behind in the year that would soon be ending. We had a wood-burning stove in the living room at that house. I suggested that we could read out loud what we had written, if we wanted to, and then toss the paper in the fire to 'let it go.' They thought it was a great idea so the three of us tore some paper into a bunch of strips. I grabbed a few pencils and we started to write. Then I had another idea. I offered the possibility of also writing down some things we are looking forward to in the New Year. More paper was needed! I was amazed at how many things all three of us wrote down, both things to let go of, and things we were looking forward to. As I recall, it was about three or four years after their mom and I had divorced that we first did this, and I hoped it might be a way to help all of us continue moving on.
We did that for a number of years, and this Sunday's ceremony at church made me wonder when we had stopped. I'm going to suggest the idea again this week when they're back home with dad.
Many parents seem to struggle with getting their kids to open up to them. This way worked wonderfully for us. In sharing the list of things they wanted to leave behind, and the ones they were looking forward to, I learned a lot about each of them.
Randy Mergler, M.S., LMFT
www.limitlessliving.org
970-980-6308
Randy Mergler, M. S., LMFT
Teacher/Therapist
As more and more folks are doing these days, I changed careers in mid-life. I’d worked for 15 years in veterinary medicine as a nurse anesthetist at CSU’s veterinary teaching hospital. Although I love animals and enjoyed the work, I was drawn to more closely work with people. I returned to school and became a marriage and family therapist.
Believing strongly in life-long learning, and wanting to continue stretching myself to become more compassionate, responsible and giving, I became an active student of A Course in Miracles.
I love anything outdoors and my passions are bicycling, camping, hiking and fishing. I’ve been a teacher in many venues since moving to Colorado in 1973 from my native Illinois. Accomplishments I’m proud of are that I’m a devoted father of a son and a daughter, now teenagers, and have had great relationships with both of my parents. Mom died at home with me in 2009, almost making it to 97, and Dad died 9 months earlier approaching 94. I have good genes! Spending a lot of time with them the last 5 years of their lives afforded me an opportunity to learn much about our elders and the need for changes in our society as we all age.
Loving and close relationships mean the world to me, and I’m passionate about assisting others who want the same.