Dear Sara;
It’s been almost three and a half years since you passed away, five years since we divorced and seven years since you left me to be a sole parent to Jack and Michaela. I figured that maybe now we should talk again. First let me update you on the kids.
Jack for the most part is doing great. He has friends that love him, a personality that you would cherish and and a stubbornness that you would respect. He is peaceful in his spirit, smart in his thinking but like you he occasionally plays the victim. If God didn’t tell you he had the 30th highest score on his high school entrance exam, out of 425 kids. He gets that from you Sara. Unfortunately school seems to bore him and thus his GPA is around a 2.something (he gets that from me). He is 5’7 1/2 ” and is committed to joining the US Army Rangers when he gets out of high school. I really want him to attend college but he is adamant that his calling is with the Rangers. I know that it is not what either of us would have chosen for him but I will support him all the way. I am actually very proud of him because how many 16 year olds are there that know exactly what they want to do with their life. I am so proud of him and you would be as well.
He is like you in so many ways Sara, but he is still so angry with you. I know that he won’t admit it to me but he misses you dearly. He needed a mom in his life to hold him when he felt sad, to comfort him when he was sick and to talk to him like only a mom can do. I worry about him because he has not had that female influence around since you died. I know that he is strong, but it’s one thing for me to know this, and totally another to understand it. Now that he is 16 I worry that I can’t help him anymore. I remind him daily of all the wonderful traits he inherited from you and how much you loved him, but I know that he tunes it out. Don’t worry though, I know deep down in my heart that he loves you with all his heart, and will one day make us both very proud.
Michaela is 14 now and is also doing great. She is beautiful as you were. She’s outgoing, focused, and athletic with lots of friends. At your funeral we had a collage made up of pictures of you over the years. Michaela came and grabbed me before the funeral started and said Dad check this out it its freaky. There was a picture of you as a child and everyone thought that we mistakenly added a picture of Michaela. You two could have been identical twins. We actually all got a good laugh out of it.
She has inherited your sense of style and grace which I know is getting the boys attention at school. Don’t worry, I have already decided that when the first boy comes to pick her up for a date I am going to open the door, and hit him right between the eyes. I figured that way word will get back to school that Michaela’s dad is crazy so don’t ask her out! I’m just kidding here:) She is 5’8″ and plays competitive soccer. You would love to see her play. She too misses you dearly, but again like Jack seems to keep it inside. You will be happy to know that she has a picture of you and her on her wall that she looks at every day.
Last Christmas I made memory box’s for both of the kids. I filled each box with pictures, jewelry and mementos of your life. I even put one of your ice skates in each box so that they could remember how their mom once trained with Scott Hamilton and Peggy Flemming. They keep them in their rooms and although I can’t verify it, I know that they do open them and remember you fondly. I like to think that it is my way of having their mom with them each night they lay their head down on the pillow. OK now that the tears are flowing down my cheeks so lets get on to you and I.
First and foremost Sara I want you to know that I forgive you. It wasn’t easy as you know. I was angry for so long that you couldn’t conquer your demons. The days that you drove the kids drunk scared me to death. The days that you showed up for the kids events with a few drinks in you embarrassed me. The mothers day that we spent at a rehab center was not exactly my idea of a good time but I forgive you. I probably should have gotten some counseling but my only concern was for Jack and Michaela. If you haven’t heard I am trying to help others in my same position with a website and a book. Yes I wrote a book, stop laughing:) I am truly not sure if I am doing much good, but I guess that it’s my own form of self therapy. Anyway back to you and I. I just wanted to let you know how much you taught me while you were here. I appreciated you introducing me to the theater and enlightening me to the fact that a nice dinner means using more than one fork. I wanted to thank you for the little things that you did that I so often took for granted. You were a loving mother and I know that you are sorry that you aren’t here to watch the kids grow up. But Sara I also know that they have you as their guardian angel now. I am so happy that your pain is gone and that you have the best seat in the house to watch them grow and mature. Please put a good word in with God for all of us if you would. We sure could use it every now and then.
Never forget that your children have always, and will always, love you Sara. I will continue to sing to them your praises, because I never want them to forget that they came from two parents, not just one. Raising them without a mother isn’t always easy, but feel assured that I will always do my best to love them twice as much, and remind them that you did as well.
Well I guess that’s it for now. I trust that you are enjoying the amazing place you are at and look forward to catching up with you some day, just not to soon, Jack and Michaela need me here right now…
P.S. We just finished taking our Christmas photos this weekend. I will make sure to get yours in the mail this week. I remember your address as:
Sara Abshire McLeod
777 Heavenly Way
Bill McLeod works with businesses, government agencies and associations that are committed to training, motivating, and retaining highly productive employees. He is a motivational speaker who specializes in enhancing employees’ potential by looking within themselves and finding the strength and will to succeed in business and life. He has helped tens of thousands of people through his work at www.singleparentstown.com, his recently published book “Kickin’ Butt as a Single Parent: 99 Tips That Every Single Parent Must Have,” his weekly radio show, and numerous speaking engagements. Bill’s story is one of perseverance, determination and success. As a full time single father he has had to overcome the challenges of raising children while their mother suffered through alcoholism, depression and eventually death. His ability to inspire and educate all parents in a highly energetic, innovative and passionate manner is unparallel.
Bill is a frequent contributor to syndicated radio shows and magazines, and has been interviewed on radio programs around the country, as well as on NBC, CBS, ABC and FOX affiliates, for his insight and commitment to succeeding as a single parent. For his ongoing work and dedication in these areas, Bill has won the prestigious State Farm Insurance Companies “Embrace Life Award” presented annually to only thirteen individuals in the U.S. and Canada. His story will enlighten you; empower you and give you hope that anyone can succeed, as long as you realize that you will never change your life until you change something you do daily.