Finding My Center, Not My Purpose

Where does awareness come from and how do I learn to trust it?

I believe that messages from the universe often come to me as dreams. They are divine inspiration, energy channeled through me in some way. Scientific or “woo-woo”-ish, I believe this energy exists and the vibration of that energy connects us all to each other and beyond.

To receive these messages I have to be prepared, I have to be open to listening, hearing ,expanding, allowing. I need to train my intuition and train my body to hold this energy.

To do that, I need rest and proper nourishment. I need to surround myself with environments and people that feel good, that energize me. I need to take care of myself so that I can receive the messages I am meant to hear.

That process of self-care, that journey of self-improvement, begins with what I call baby steps and I practice every day. But I didn’t always appreciate nor understand the importance of my self-care practice.

For nearly three years I struggled with the notion that I had to find my purpose. Finding my purpose consumed me. I read wonderful books on the topic and wrote countless pages of journal entries on the subject. What began as an excited, energizing opening to new thoughts and ideas became increasingly frustrating. I wrote lots of purpose statements and yet none seemed to really fit. I began to worry that I was never going to find my purpose.

Fueling my growing frustration was the fact that I was committed to making my new life’s work about my purpose (sound familiar?).

How could I make a business out of being authentic, speaking my voice and teaching others to do the same, if I didn’t find my purpose?

Eventually I exhausted myself in the search and just gave it up, resigned to the fact that for now, I couldn’t find my purpose. Once again, I had fallen short of an ideal designed for someone else.

But a funny thing happened along the way…

The questions I had been guided to ask myself in the process of “finding my purpose”, helped me gain a clarity I’d never known before. I realized for the first time, I was defining what my dreams are, what brings me joy, what love means to me, and what’s important to me in my “now”. I developed a routine of walking, writing and finding quiet moments to allow myself to connect to my voice of inner wisdom and I found what I now call “my center”.

Little did I know, that by finding my center, I was allowing my purpose to find me.

When I was busy trying to find my purpose, like much of the “searching” I’ve done over the years, I was once again directing all of my attention outside of myself. Searching like this, I was destined to be looking for a better purpose forever, continually measuring myself against others, riding that merry go ‘round, actually fueling that old message of “you’re not good enough” rather than finding clarity.

When I stopped searching outside and allowed myself to connect to my inner voice, to center myself and get really clear about the simple things that matter to me, then I had found my purpose – to be the best me I can be. It’s that simple.

When I am centered, my awareness is heightened and inspiration finds me. I am growing, evolving as I should. My purpose is evolving as it should. In the words of Louise Hay “All is well in my world.”

Now, I am open to receive messages of inspired possibility from the littlest things. I allow myself to see my dreams.

So instead of struggling to find your purpose in 2010, spend some time centering.

Here’s a few suggestions to help:

-Make time for Yoga or Tai Chi or Qi Chong

-Journal with prompts. Ask yourself:

What brings me joy?

As a child what were my favorite things to do?

What makes me smile?

What makes my heart sing?

What fills me up?

When I’m with ________ I feel loved.

I love to _____________.

__________makes me feel alive.

My favorite thing to do is _______________.

What about that thing makes it your favorite?

I am at my best when _______________.

-Walk alone and listen. Baby steps.

And if today you find it difficult to answer these questions, know that it’s OK. Don’t push, don’t force answers. Come back to it another time. Not too long ago, I couldn’t answer those questions either.

Finding and connecting to my center is a commitment to life long learning. Open yourself up to the possibility that someday you will be very comfortable with this self discovery process. Along the way, I hope you’ll establish your own self-care practice as I have.

There was a time when I couldn’t visualize or articulate anything in the future. Today I choose to see my future clearly and take steps toward that vision every day.

Join me!