Mad To Happiness For Grief and Loss

We all want to be happy! Mad can sound harsh, but in actuality, feeling upset, in a bad mood, or depression all have roots in being mad. It is nothing to be ashamed of because actually it is normal, as we all have felt mad at one time or another.

Most of us will experience a crisis or loss in our lifetime, and how we learn to deal with it, will determine our future happiness and success.

Grief - loss has so many levels of feelings all tied into processing how did this happen, why, and how do I move on. The reality that we cannot control our life is upsetting. We often lock that upset feeling inside, and then it leaks out in other ways.

Have you ever been mad when you wake up in the morning and you can’t shake it off? You think you are mad at something but the truth is: we are never really mad at what we think we are.

M- misunderstandings
A-appearing in a
D -deceptive way

Misunderstandings are common, sometimes we just do not understand life, or people. After a while these feelings get to us, and suddenly we aren’t happy. Ironically the feelings get so buried that we don’t even know what they are.
So how do we discover what we are really mad at? First ask yourself: “ if I am not mad at what I think am mad at what could it be?” Usually it takes a person about three conscious moments of asking “if I am not mad at this, then what am I mad at?” to get to the core issue. Just by taking the time to ask you will feel your body shift and become more centered.

Looking outside the box is helpful in any problem solving. Sometimes whom we are mad at gives us clues, such as what about this person is something I do not like in me, or what does this person have that I think am lacking?

Many years ago I went to a training with Lester Levenson founder of “The Release Technique “ To this day I use tapping in my practice and for myself. Tapping is a profound release technique, which can be extremely helpful in changing your mood. Here is a brief introduction: Take your middle fingers and lightly tap on your chest. While tapping say to yourself or out loud everything that is bothering you. Then stop take a deep breath and start tapping again saying what if what I am thinking is not true. What if everything is ok, what if all the limiting thoughts I have been thinking were to melt away and be replaced with positive infinite possibilities.

“The key to securing the happiness that is yours . . . forever . . . is to discover how to discharge the negative feelings you've accumulated. By discharging these negative feelings, you will not only increase the happiness in your life, but everything else will get better too! Money, health, relationships, looks, you name it!” Lester Levenson

Imagine turning every negative thought around. Imagine seeing your life in a new way, filled with happiness, love, peace and abundance.
I used this technique to help me in my mourning year, and still to this day. As an example: I first took a deep breath and started tapping my chest. Then I said all my real feelings, like: “this sucks, he was suppose to out live me, and how can I live with out him.” Then I took another deep long breath and began tapping again this time saying “what if it was the perfect time for him to go, what if am going to be Ok what if he is not dead, just transformed.” “Alive on the other side.” You see by using these tools I could take whatever came my way, and give it meaning by transforming it into something of value. Now I realize I am a trained professional in transformation so I had a huge advantage.
Through the process of tapping, I opened myself up to the gift of discovering a new relationship with my son. An Invisible Relationship, which has brought me amazing comfort. In fact so much so, that my book Invisible Relationships TM will be released in April.

Did you know that just smiling alone lifts your vibration? One simple smile is like taking a healthy vitamin.

I once was given the advice that when you are mad sing your anger. Just by encouraging yourself to sing your angry feelings, you can create a release in your body, which often starts you laughing. It is a great parenting tool, as well as a tool for releasing grief. I started singing to God my pain, and my songs turned into love songs for my son. Music I discovered is a portal to the other side.

Lets face it; there are a lot of things we can feel uncertain about. Even down right afraid. Only fear attracts so we know we should only be positive. Leaving us with an inner battle of erasing and replacing thoughts all day. However if we stop the merry –go –round and remember to trust and have faith, we can pause long enough to ask the question what if, and feel hope return.
When hope return, happiness sparks a flame in the soul.

Happiness comes from taking time to be happy. Be gentle on yourself. You are better than your thoughts think you are.

Jenni Parker Brown wrote, “On waking this morning, this credo was birthed…may it become all empowered people’s mantra….
With every thought……I create myself
With every word ………I bless myself
With every action……...I fulfill myself ”

Dr. Wayne Dyer has always been one of my favorite speakers, and authors. In his audio set titled The Shift he talked about the magic five moments just before you go to sleep.

He explains how the thoughts you are thinking in the last five minutes before you fall asleep actually program your mind. And by consciously programming your mind with the right thoughts you will enhance your dreams to start working, and problem solving in obtaining what you what to create in your life. So just before you fall asleep imagine your life the way you want it to be.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xl-cbXrMGP4

"He who cannot change the very fabric of his thought will never be able to change reality." – Anwar al-Sadat.

What inspired me to add a coaching credential to my already rich therapeutic practice was the power of questions for shifting one to move forward. A certified coach is a master at asking insightful questions, leading one to their own answers from their own wisdom inside. Each and every one of us is wise beyond measure.

I have a question posted in my kitchen, which reads: “What would love do?”

Our inherent nature is to be happy, and happiness is our birthright. Yet our feelings can block our happiness and rob us of the joy of life. Grief can make us feel like we deserve to be robbed of joy; only we know deep inside that is not true. Having a trained professional to assist you can make all the difference in the world in discovering your feelings, and helping you release them in a positive way. In hindsight most people discover "crisis situations" are opportunities in disguise to advance in our growth. Remarkable achievements can come from either "inspiration" or "desperation." Your personal achievement is the outcome of responding positively to change.