Surviving An Affair - Where Do I Begin?

To cope with your spouse's infidelity is not something that anyone can do it. In fact the odious word of infidelity is not a word that many people would want to associate it with cooperation, because it is always painful and carries a connotation of betrayal especially after surviving an affair.

For married people, infidelity can be described as a marriage-Grinch who stole many marriages that do not survive infidelity. There are several reasons why people cheat in their relationship. Those reasons can range from a feeling of loneliness or rejection, to the feeling of losing the love.

Even a lack of willingness and ability to say no to temptation can sometimes be attributed to infidelity. When dust is placed, regardless of whom it happened or what produced the affair, the biggest hurdle partners must overcome is working with infidelity and fighting for surviving the affair.

So, after the initial shock, after the immense pain, the feeling of betrayal and the fear that your marriage will not survive infidelity, will put a hold on your mind and you need to overcome all the negative feelings if you wand to succeed surviving an affair.

Before you go any further in one direction, either to save or to end your marriage, is always a good idea to do something about resolving this problem. Here are some suggestions on what you can do for surviving an affair and solving your marriage problems:

1.Make a review to your recorded past. Most extramarital affairs were not produced in a vacuum, there are reasons why people cheat. So ask yourself if you have contributed in any way, directly or indirectly to infidelity? If you done that, what would you change about yourself next time?

2.Try to be relaxed and rest. Do not make hasty decisions because most of the decisions that are taken now are not always the best, so do not take decisions about your marriage when you are overwhelmed by anger and confusion. An affair can be devastating but to end your marriage in haste can be more dangerous. So for the moment try to do anything you should do for surviving an affair.

3.If you two can not stand to see each other, for the moment is better to stay away one of each other but just until things calm down. Do not try to look for answers and solutions when you are angry because this situation could get worse.

4.Talk about what happened. Now that the period of anger has passed, is time to start talking and try to go to the root of the problem. Talk to your partner in private if possible. If you can not talk to each other, maybe you need the intervention of a 3rd person. Talk with a friend you both trust or look for a therapist. It might be time to find out what really happened and why, and how to make that will not happen again.

5. Try not to get revenge and make the same mistake your partner made. Trying to cheat your partner too is not the best way to handle infidelity and most certainly not for surviving an affair. Trying to solve the problem using infidelity will only deepen it.

6.Don't involve your family into this. Usually when couples have problems in marriage, the ones who feels victimized will tell their family about the dispute as a kind of consolation for themselves. This may be fine with other family problems, but infidelity is somewhat more difficult. If you have not taken the decision to end the marriage, it would be unwise to reveal this family secret.