Often people think intimacy is learning about their partners and teaching their partners what they want their partners to know about them. In actuality, the word "intimacy" says it all – IN TO ME SEE. Seeing intimacy as this simple phrase can be the key to unlocking the door to true openness and communication in a relationship.
In order for one to see into oneself, one must acquire the knowledge of who he or she really are so that one can live authentically with a partner and with the rest of the world -- but most importantly with oneself.
The lies we tell others may be of some consequence but they are never as damaging as the lies we tell ourselves. It is these lies that diminish and damage us far beyond anything else that we experience because in lying to ourselves we diminish who we are, who we can be and who we will be. Only by allowing others and/or partners in particular “to see into me” can we have true IN TO ME SEE.
Through “in to me see” it is possible to reveal one’s soul to a possible soul mate who in turn reveals him or herself, which empowers each individual into the greater good, greater joy, greater health, and greater happiness. The keys are honesty plus integrity in revealing oneself and the profound difference that can make in a relationship. All things can be tolerated in an open, communicating, honest relationship.
It is easy to use a digression or transgressions of a partner to justify ending a relationship but we do not take responsibility for why our partner acted unapproachably on his or her own. In many cases it is a lack of communication between partners regarding their wants, needs, desires and most importantly, their “have to haves.”
Communication is the primary key to any successful relationship, whether it is a marriage relationship, a business relationship or a global relationship. Only through communicating from a win-win point of view can we ever obtain the peace, happiness and tranquility that we all seek.
The pursuit of power destroys us and those who pursue power for power’s sake will surely destroy the planet. If money is power, then stupidity reigns supreme. Money is valueless if there is nothing to buy, no one to spend it with and nowhere to go once we have attained it all.
These thoughts appear out of “in to me see” for in living authentically, one realizes their value in making a contribution into the good of the whole and not attempting to own the whole of the good. If intimacy is the power to good, or even great, communication then it is imperative that we all practice “in to me see” in an appropriate manner.
Each of us needs to learn what one needs to learn when it is appropriate to learn that. Toddlers should not be taught about their sexuality, teenagers should. Teenagers should not be taught about intercourse, young adults should.
Through each of the stages of life, different lessons must be learned and we need to be open to this learning process – hopefully to the very day we leave the planet. The only possible way to achieve that is to communicate from a center of being well-founded within oneself, practicing "in to me see."
Nationally renowned author, teacher, lecturer and inventor Dr. Stuart Bloch, DD, PhD, ChT is one of the nation's leading experts on sex and sexual relationships. He is the founder of The Institute for Sexual Awareness (www.isasex.org), a research and educational trust whose purpose is to educate people to have more pleasure and satisfaction in relationships. This article is based on Dr. Bloch's new book, "Conversations with the World's Greatest Lover" found on Amazon.com.