Think of someone that you are uncomfortable talking to.
•Why is it so difficult to talk to this person?
•Do you feel defensive?
•Do they feel listened to?
•Do you avoid this person?
These are signs that the relationship is lacking trust and respect.
One way to help you have successful, meaningful conversations and relationships is to show respect. Over time, trust will grow.
Now, think about someone you trust.
•How does this person make you feel?
•Do you look forward to talking to this person?
•Do great things happen when you are together?
Next time you have a conversation with your trusting friend or colleague, try to see if they do any of the actions below. How many of these do you use successfully?
1.Listen, really listen without interrupting.
2.Make eye contact (not piercing eye contact… make sure it’s comfortable for the other person).
3.Validate what was said by repeating back in your own words.
4.Focus on what is being said: Don’t think of what you will say next.
5.If you need to take notes, ask for permission before your conversation starts.
6.Find an item that you agree with and tell them you agree with them.
7.When you don’t agree, ask questions to help clarify or validate your intuition.
8.Show interest in what is being said (nod, make eye contact, smile, ask questions).
9.Present your point of view as “another way of looking at things”.
10.Ask their opinion.
These 10 tips for showing respect work. The key is to practice. Which ones will you try today?
Sonia’s mission is to help you cultivate trust and collaboration!
Sonia Di Maulo (BA in Communication Studies and MA in Educational Technology) is Founder and Lead Feedback Enthusiast of Harvest Performance. She has witnessed the power of authentic feedback move mountains! Sonia is currently working on getting her first book published, The Apple Seed, a fable of a brave little apple and his quest to find purpose and connection with the apple orchard. Her Workshops, Coaching, and Keynotes are aimed at getting you ready to cultivate trust and collaboration! It’s time to harvest performance!
2 easy ways to connect with Sonia: via her website, www.readytofeedback.com (soon to be www.harvestperformance.ca) or on twitter, http://twitter.com/soniadima.