This week, I saw two posts on Facebook that spoke of there being "no good men" out there in society. It broke my heart that so many women are disheartened in their dating search.
As women, we are programmed from the start to want the beautiful wedding complete with the dress, the good food and music, and the knight in shining armour. The reality of it is, after that four hour wedding comes a lifetime of marriage. Are you ready for marriage and commitment? Does your relationship resume measure up?
Women, do you have that list of things you want in a "good" man? Of course you do. We all should have those standards of what we will and will not accept in a mate. But do you measure up to those same standards? How can you ask him to come to the table with 100% when you are only willing to give 75%?
And let's not talk about the self esteem issues and quotes from Mama that hold us back from letting that "good" man treat us right. I bet a few of you have had a "good" man come across your path, but you weren't emotionally ready and he left. I've seen women have a wonderful man, but he was too fat, too nice, didn't make enough money, doesn't have a college degree- blah, blah, blah. You get the point don't you?
After that good man leaves, you feel abandoned and hurt so you lash out by saying there are no good men and then attach yourselves to a complete loser (and give yourself credit- you knew he was a loser from the start) and then complain that there are no good men. Or maybe you have outgrown the loser you chose and you are ready to move on, but you complain about the loser that you 1. had kids with, 2. had a relationship with for several years and now you are tired of his mess.
Ladies, please remember one thing: YOU CHOOSE the man you are with. If you choose a man that is disrespectful, that is irresponsible only because he's sexy as hell and good in bed- that is a direct reflection on where you are emotionally in your life.
The alternative is making sure that your relationship resume measures up.
If you want him to make 6 figures and have a college degree, do you have the same?
If you want him to be respectful and emotionally available, are you willing to to share your emotions with him and respect him as a man?
If you feel like he should make changes, are you willing to listen to his constructive criticism of you when you need to make changes?
Remember, the good man is going to want to take a look at your relationship resume as well? When that good man comes along, are you the right person for the job?
Today's Challenge:
Write your own relationship resume. Take a serious look at your redeeming qualities and your not so redeeming qualities. Hint- if most of the things you write down have to do with things or materialism, you have a whole other problem on your hands!
Peace and Blessings,
Serenity & Strength Consulting
Tamara Grant, Lead Life Coach with Serenity and Strength Consulting, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) in the state of Georgia. For the past 11 years, Tamara has provided therapeutic services for children, adults, and families. Over the past few years, Mrs. Grant has made the natural progression to working as a Life Coach and developed Serenity and Strength Consulting.
Serenity and Strength Consulting focuses on assisting individuals through empowerment, improving relationships, career success, and improving interpersonal skills. We seek to explore all ways to assist individuals with their personal development.
With those goals in mind, Tamara shares her message through a number of mediums, such as the Serenity and Strength blogspot, her Blog show Live Your Best Life Radio, and on Twitter @tgrantlifecoach. Ms. Grant is available for individual and group coaching sessions.
Tune into Live Your Best Life Radio where Tamara and guests reach people all around the country with her inspiring message on Mondays at 10 am EST.