Do you have a sneaking suspicion that your husband is cheating on you? I’ve been their myself. Maybe your partner has a new friend and he’s spending a lot of time with her. You just know that there’s something going on, but you’re torn.
On one hand you feel like you should trust him. He’s a good man and the man you married would never cheat on you.
On the other hand though, you can tell that this is heading straight for a train wreck that is just going to leave you hurt and suffering.
What do you do? Should you trust your idealism and look the other way, just hoping that things work out for the best, or should you find out more about what is going on with them or even try to stop them from seeing each other?
Let me tell you, I used to believe in idealism. I thought that it would be best to just take the high road and look the other way. I thought I could just trust my partner with his new “friend.”
After all, these things always seem to work out well on TV and in the movies right? At the end of the day, everyone just laughs at how it was all just a big misunderstanding and life just goes on rosy and happily.
Well, I’m sorry to say, but life isn’t a scripted TV show or a movie. Despite the fact that you’re a good person or you married a good man, that doesn’t mean that things don’t change.
If you just look the other way and hope for the best, understand that you are just setting yourself up for heartbreak and disappointment.
I hate to sound so jaded and cynical, but the truth is that people cheat. It’s not because they’re bad or that they are intentionally trying to hurt you. It’s because they are human. People make mistakes and can become infatuated with others. It’s a balancing act between then pull of someone new and attractive versus their integrity and commitment to their marriage vows.
Although everyone likes to think of themselves as a good person, in the moment the temptation of being with someone new can easily win out.
It may seem controlling or unromantic to dig deeper and peel back that layer of trust to see what he is really doing with his new friend, but trust me, it’s better in the long run.
First of all, you could stop the whole thing before it really leads anywhere. This alone could save you, your marriage, and your family from divorce and the agony of infidelity.
Secondly, you can actually work out whatever problems you are having with your husband so that he doesn’t ever feel compelled to cheat in the future. Most affairs are the result of unmet needs in the relationship. Unfortunately, this topic is usually only brought up too late, after someone cheated. But you can preemptively deal with this before things get that bad and get your marriage back on track for success.
So, please, be brave and deal with this before it gets out of hand. Make sure your husband knows that you’re worried about your relationship with him and how him and his female friend seem to be getting too close for comfort.
If you think there might be something more going on with your husband and his new "friend," be sure to look out for the common signs of a cheating man.
I also recommend you check out my Relationship Recovery review for a detailed look at how you can repair your relationship before things get out of hand.
Alex Haight is a relationship writer helping women with relationship problems and specializing in affairs and infidelity.