We are always the same age inside. Gertrude Stein
We all have this secret. Everyone else is going to die except us.
The scary part recently is you are starting to look at the Obituaries in the paper with special emphasis on the ages which are younger than you even if you don’t know the people. You probably never even looked before
STOP READING THE OBITS IMMEDIATELY.
If your name is there you won’t care anymore. All you will remember is the wild and wonderful ride.
And if there is a person you happen to know - someone will call you and tell you. People love to spread bad news.
This is probably triggered by a birthday ending with a zero. It could be as little as 30. Those are the toughest ones. The others in between seem to slide by like they haven’t happened.
Or good friend has died. Some have developed sicknesses. Bad ones.
Chances are that you have a number of years to go. But could it be the downhill side of the mountain?
Here are a few suggestions that you might consider to weather this storm. They follow the five stages of grief that Elisabeth Kubler Ross made famous. In a way, getting older is a form of grief
1. DENIAL. Of course, the first thing is you start lying about your age. (Someone once told me you have to start lying by at least five years because everyone else is lying so they immediately add five years on to what you claim is your age)
Some people will know. You will probably be surprised because instead of feeling sorry for you because you are SO OLD, you will probably hear, “You have got to be kidding! You look great!”
And it gives other people confidence that they will live as long and look as good as you do. It’s a public service.
2. ANGER. I haven’t done —- (Fill in your grievances here) Get a yellow pad and get really mad about what you think you have missed.
Don’t leave anything out you may never do. Include things like you don’t have quite the energy you used to have. Get it all out. Remember, no one else will see this list but you and there is relief in admitting it.
YES, YOU CAN STILL DO SOME OF THE THINGS ON YOUR LIST.
3. BARGAINING. Please God let me live long enough to (again your list)
Decide you will.
When I was in the travel business, I had a client who owned a funeral parlor. He used to book a big trip between Thanksgiving and Christmas. He called it his “slow season.” I was curious about it because it was also flu season. Didn’t a lot of people die then? He told me people who make it past the first holiday do not die because they decide not to. So decide you will live long enough for your bargain to manifest.
4. DEPRESSION. Do not be ashamed to talk to your doctor. A round of anti-depressants might give you a lift so you can get on with your life. It is very hard to reinvent yourself if you are depressed.
One of the hardest parts of getting older is not having a goal, a passion. We are very ready to say, “What’s the use?”
The “use” is that we have learned a lot. We have made mistakes. We have had successes. There are young people out there who need to know what we know – including your children and grandchildren. They are hungry for your guidance and your experience.
There are small businesses that are struggling and you have gone through it. There are organizations like the Girls and Boys Club who could use you to help kids who need your wisdom and help with their homework. You may say you don’t have the energy. You may have to push yourself to volunteer once a week but you will feel better about your life after that day.
You owe the planet something by taking up space for so many years. It is time to pay your bills. Do you think that someone who needs help is going to say, “Thanks, but you are too old?” No way.
5. ACCEPTANCE. . If you are reading this, accept the obvious. You are still alive. And, if you are still alive, it means that there is a reason for it.
WHAT IS THAT REASON?
TELL US ABOUT IT.
We are always the same age inside. Gertrude Stein
Personal growth is a topic I have studied for years and the arena is broad enough to cover everything.
I feel all of life – even the small stuff – and the funny is connected to personal growth.
Also, since I am a lady “of a certain age,” I have been around the block a few times, learned from mistakes, had some lucky successes and will have ideas to share with you.
My late husband, Julius, used to throw this barb at me when he was mad.
“You read all these self-improvement books and you have NOT IMPROVED!”
Listen, Julius, wherever you are, I want you to know I am still trying!
I think we all are.
Some miscellaneous background:
I have traveled several life paths – from travel agency owner, to sales trainer, author, lecturer, life coach, media coach, TV host – and blogger.
I’m the author of five books, Low Pain Threshold, Love Waits on Welcome . . . and other miracles, Reflections from a Woman Alone, Sales, Lies and Naked Truths (an E-book) and a brand new one, A Woman Without A Man. My books also include poetry so you will find some included on my blog.
In my business incarnation, I was one of the first women in the country to be invited into Rotary International.
Then after a stint as one of the first women to be a chairperson of a Chamber of Commerce in the United States, I was asked to be president of a chapter of The American Cancer Society. I was in charge of a couple of their smoke-outs – and I smoke. They ignored it. As long as I did the work.
In recent years, my focus has shifted to the area of personal growth and human potential. I conducted a spiritual self esteem class for male inmates at Cook County Jail for two years. Smartest men I ever met.
Then for five years I volunteered to run a program to rehabilitate prostitutes, in conjunction with Genesis House and the Cook County Court system in Chicago. It was the first one of its kind in the country and was featured on BBC.
As the host of a weekly cable TV program starting from 1991 on Chicago Access and I then produced and hosted over 400 shows for Wisdom Television, which was later sold. My show aired every weekday on DISH, Comcast and AT&T throughout the country from 1997 until recently.
I mean, who hires a middle aged woman to do a national show unless she is Barbara Walters? I am proof that you can reinvent yourself as you go along.
Among the personalities I have interviewed are Deepak Chopra, James Redfield, Joan Borysenko, Robert Bly, Mark Victor Hansen, Marianne Williamson, John Gray, Jean Houston, Les Brown, Wayne Dyer, Andrew Weil, Judith Viorst, Carolyn Myss, Neale Donald Walsch, Judith Orloff and Thomas Moore.
As an adjunct to my blog, my newest enterprise is media coaching. I had a great coach and after more than 400 shows, you can’t help but learn. If you are on Internet Radio or are interested in video blogging, interviewing or podcasting, I will have something to offer you.
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Your feedback in your comments is extremely important to me and to my readers. Don’t be afraid to disagree. You have valuable information others need to hear. Don’t be shy.
I can be reached at miraclecor@aol.com I am on twitter as “miraclady.”
For more information on media coaching click here: Hire Corinne Edwards