I came upon this statement the other day: “You cannot really become yourself by yourself.”
It’s true.
The third level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is the need for love and belonging. Once we take care of our most basic needs and our safety issues, we need companionship, friendship, and love. We need to feel that we belong.
It is interesting that we can’t really achieve a sense of self-esteem without having satisfied the need for love and belonging. And self-actualization? Uh-uh. Not until we know we are loved and that we belong.
Unfortunately, by the time we reach middle-age, life has kicked us around some. The relationships that we have depended upon in the past have changed or disappeared.
There are many causes for this. We may have become estranged from a spouse or a friend. We may have gotten a divorce. Our spouse or loved one may have died. Our children may have left home. We may have lost our job. We may have transferred to a new job in a new city or town. We may be transitioning with no certainty in sight.
All of these things can cause us to feel isolated. Some of them can make us feel that no one loves us. They challenge our sense of belonging. Our self-esteem may be low. Self-actualization may seem like a distant dream.
The by-word of this blog is that phrase in the upper right hand corner: “Living, loving, and learning.”
We can’t really do any of those things well in isolation. Loneliness can be debilitating. We need other people.
Because this is such an important need, I am launching a new website called “Romance for Boomers.”
This is a place where we can safely meet others with needs just like ours and form relationships that will satisfy that need for friendship or love or, even, sexual intimacy.
It is easy, and free, to join. Just click on http://romance-for-boomers.net and click on the “Free Sign Up”. That will take you to a page where you will fill in basic information that will be held in the strictest privacy.
On the next page, you will find that you can choose the level of involvement that most meets your needs. Then you will be asked to fill out your profile. This will give the administrators enough information to match you to people who share your interests and your needs. Be sure to fill this out completely and with complete honesty.
While it is “free” to join there is a charge, depending upon the service you want, to actually connect with another person.
Best wishes for a romantic future!
I am a Baby Boomer who is reinventing herself and an internet entrepreneur focusing on self-help for the Baby Boomer generation. I spent sixteen years serving as pastor in United Methodist congregations all over Kansas. Those congregations were made up primarily of Baby Boomer or older members, so I developed some expertise with the Baby Boomer generation. I am now on leave of absence and living in Atchison, Ks. with my almost-thirty year old son and two cats. I also help my daughter, also living in Atchison, with three sons, ages 8, 6, and 18 mos, while their father is in Afghanistan. My website is found at http://www.for-boomers.com.