If you’ve ever dealt with allergies, you know how brutal they can be. An allergy, or intolerance, is defined as: hypersensitivity reaction to a particular allergen; symptoms can vary greatly in intensity.
I swear, that perfectly describes my last relationship!!! So then I started thinking. When I eat milk- all bad. When I take penicillin- all bad. When I deal with him, it’s ALL BAD! Maybe I’m allergic to HIM!!! Is this possible?
Let’s compare this person to my dietary and environmental allergies. All create uncomfortable, if not harmful, situations for me. Lactose completely jacks up my digestive system, and he completely jacks up my emotional system. Don’t get me wrong, he wouldn’t make me itch or break out in hives, but he would drive me NUTS.
After accepting and acknowledging that I’m thoroughly allergic to my ex, I must confess I did wish for 5 seconds that I could have taken a pill to counteract the horrific effect he had on my psyche because he is sooooooo cute. Then again, do I really want something that will subdue the symptoms while he continues to act a fool? For what? Is 15 minutes of his attention really worth 15 hours, or days, or YEARS of my misery??? Uh, yea, #EPICFAIL. I then started comparing my other relationships and friendships to stuff I’m allergic to and the list grew exponentially. My life was congested with people I’m allergic to. No wonder I was feeling so down. “Happy” to me was just one of Snow White’s dwarves!!!
Well, what’s the remedy for a “people allergy”? With food allergies we eliminate the offender from our life completely. I have a friend who won’t even look at Red Lobster in fear it will aggravate his shellfish allergy. I decided to take this same approach in dealing with people I’m allergic to. Total elimination. Here are some steps I used:
1. Delete – yes D-E-L-E-T-E them from your phone, Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, BBM, AIM, MSN, Skype and any other acronym they may be on. Deleting this person will remove both your access to them and their access to you. You can’t “drunk dial” someone whose number isn’t in your phone right?
2. Remove the reminders, i.e. pictures, souvenirs, gifts, clothing and any other memento that reminds you of that person. You don’t have to throw them away, just get them out of sight. This way you won’t be continually reminded of someone you’re trying to forget.
3. Get a new vocabulary that doesn’t include their name. Don’t keep telling your woeful tales to anyone who’ll listen. Have one last vent-fest with a trusted confidante to get it all out, then seal the file and lock the drawer on that situation. It’s over FOR GOOD!
4. Go shopping…… for new places, friends and experiences. Sometimes being around a particular group of people can bring you back to a place you’re trying to move away from. Take a time out from certain people, places and things, and you’ll discover that your life without people you’re allergic to is much bigger and better than you ever imagined.
5. Get fly!!! Go get your hair done, mani-pedi, shave and a fresh cut, whatever. Take the time you previously spent with your “allergy” (or crying over them) and dedicate it to “me time”. Pamper yourself. Give yourself permission to feel good. Be a little selfish and focus on you. It’s ok =)
Live every day at YOUR personal 10!
www.yourpersonal10.com
Entertainment industry executive and “style diva” Tanisha Hall is founder of Personal 10, personal development company specializing in a service best described as a combination of life coaching and image consulting. Likened to “a real life fairy godmother”, Tanisha has developed an innovative self-reflective process of simultaneously refining internal and external aspects resulting in 360 degrees of happiness and satisfaction. Tanisha feels “what makes Personal 10 unique is it is individually catered to help clients achieve what they consider to be a "10"; their Personal 10!”
At 18-months old, wunderkind Tanisha held her first of many VIP concert performances; “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” on an upright grand piano in her family’s San Diego, CA living room. Before reaching 18 years old, her audience would grow to include British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher and the family living room would begin a venue list to later include the world-renowned Carnegie Hall in New York.
Ms. Hall received many awards and accolades throughout her youth for accomplishments on the piano and as a vocalist. She followed her passion for music to Boston’s prestigious Berklee College of Music where she earned a Bachelors of Music degree in a record three years. At Berklee, Tanisha’s aptitude for business flourished and the Music Business Management major’s reputation for hard work and excellence lead her to quickly become a prominent member of the student body. She received numerous honors for her achievements, one standout being the only person in the history of the highly competitive Sony Music Minority Internship Program allowed to perform their duties at a satellite branch office.
Upon graduation, Tanisha moved to Los Angeles and quickly acquired internships at Arista Records and Yab Yum Records, (owned by Kenny “Babyface” Edmonds & Tracey Edmonds). Within 3 months, her exemplary talent and dedication was rewarded and the then 21 year old was offered the dual position of Executive Assistant to the Executive Vice President of Edmonds Entertainment Group and A&R Department Assistant for Yab Yum Records. Tanisha continues to work with notable executives, recording artists and producers being an integral component in the success of numerous hit records. Most recently Tanisha served as Production Manager for Harris Productions-a music production company owned and operated by a Grammy Award winning producer and as Manager of Special Events for legendary singer Chaka Khan’s nonprofit foundation. Ms. Hall was also a key member of the grassroots marketing team for the independently released motion picture “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” producing over $350 million in worldwide box office receipts.
Dedication to volunteerism and community involvement was instilled into Ms. Hall’s framework as a child. The Hall family joined her father’s US Marine Corps battalion every year as volunteers for Toys For Tots. In college, she mentored every Saturday at the Boston Science Museum’s Computer Clubhouse in addition to being a student tutor, mentor and club leader at Berklee. Tanisha is currently an active member of NARAS, NAACP, Los Angeles Urban League and is on the board of directors for the Demetrius Antion Posey School of Music Engineering 501(c)(3). She is also devoted to impacting the lives of under-served Los Angeles youth by mentoring foster children in the State of California’s Department of Children and Family Services since 2003 and with the Chaka Khan Foundation’s Chaka Believes Program which she has been involved with since it’s inception in 2006.
Tanisha’s daily mantra says it best, “Live every day at YOUR Personal 10!”