We’ve all heard the cliche: “If at first you don’t succeed…try, try again.” That’s sounds like a great idea, but what if you are someone who fears success? What if you have done everything that you were supposed to do in order to reach your goals, only to panic once you finally achieved them? Then you find yourself wondering what is wrong with you. Why are you so unhappy or scared when you should be ecstatic about your achievement? Does this mean you want to be a failure?
But wait…what if you do not fear success? What if, instead, you fear failure? Perhaps you haven’t reached a point of success yet because you are too afraid of failing to achieve it. You don’t believe you have what it takes to make it. You believe you are destined for failure; doomed to live a lesser satisfying life while visions of “shoulda-coulda-wouldas” dance in your head––taunting you until the end of eternity.
I have a close relative that openly admits to fearing success. She has many great talents such as photography, gardening, and cooking. Yet, she fears transforming any of her talents into a career. Like so many people I know, she, continues to make excuses for her lack of motivation. The most common excuses I hear from people who fear failure are: daycare is too costly or untrustworthy, too many body aches or health issues, not enough money to invest into anything, no college education or way to obtain it, and my favorite excuse is..."I'm too old to start over now." In my opinion, none of these are good enough excuses to throw away your dreams. No one should have to "just settle for anything." The real problem is a lack of self-confidence.
If you are someone who fears success or failure, do not beat yourself up about it. You are not alone. There are many people all over the world who are feeling just like you do, right at this very moment. It does not make you a bad person. It does not mean that you are worthless. It just means that you need a confidence boost.
Everyone goes through times in their lives when they need a doctor to prescribe them a dose of confidence. Some people only get into a temporary slump for few days or weeks; then they quickly bounce back from their slumber. However, other people, continuously, struggle with confidence throughout their entire lifetime. It is a shame that so many people lack a belief in themselves, especially since there isn’t a human being alive that doesn’t have at least one special talent to share with the world.
The ironic part is that most people fear what everyone else thinks of them. People get so caught up in worrying about whether or not they are being judged; they don’t realize that those they fear judgment from are also feeling the same fear of judgment. The whole world is full of people walking around, worried about what everyone else thinks of them. Just imagine how much energy is wasted in our lives on such worrying. Now, imagine the possibilities if we all diverted that same energy into ourselves; into our dreams; into our goals and allowed ourselves to be successful.
The best way to be happy in life and to lead a fulfilling life is to learn to love ourselves and believe in ourselves; because, usually, when we are judged by others, we are judged by how we perceive ourselves. In other words, people can sense when other people lack self-confidence. So if you want people to believe in you, you must first believe in yourself. Once you believe in yourself, any dream can be accomplished.
Jennifer J. Passmore lives in Quincy, IL with her husband and two children. She holds an Associates Degree in Office Technology and is currently working towards a Bachelor of Arts degree in English. Jennifer works full-time as a secretary in health care and pursues her passion of writing and photography in her spare time. Jennifer enjoys writing to inspire others. Her goals are to write inspirational self-improvement books for adults and books focused on self-esteem for children.