"My lover is unfaithful to Me ", she believed. Before you give the break up idea and shatter her feelings even more, attempt to recommend these six steps to salvage the affiliation.
Your closest colleague who’s sitting right in front of you, broke the news of unexpected betrayal. You could see clearly the pain in her teary eyes. Infuriated with his action, you thought of telling her to quit this dishonest affair but felt that it wasn’t the right thing to say to somebody who believes in her relationship so much. So you thought of alternatives that would iron things out for her.
Feel the pain.
When your boyfriend dates other women, frustrated and rage fills your heart. Getting away from the pain of infidelity is useless as you carry it with you anywhere you go. Instead of denying it, accept it truthfully. You don’t need to repress your heartaches, to refrain yourself from expressing anger in writing and to conceal sadness on your face. Not recognizing the anguish won’t get you to the solution of the problem.
Don’t put yourself down.
The issue may affect your self-esteem and it may cause self-pity. When these tendencies are coming, give yourself what he has failed to value: respect. Don’t think other women are far more deserving of his affection than you. Charging yourself for his own fault will not help you assess the situation properly.
Take a breather.
While you’re still unready to face your partner, engage yourself in spare-time activities that inspire you. Find temporary relief in a favorite pastime, in a light-hearted film or in a good book. But be reminded that prolonging this won’t solve the real issue. If you continue presenting yourself in an unaffected mode, he might take advantage of your tolerance and make the situation worse.
Talk, don’t stalk.
The boyfriend-is-cheating-on-me matter won’t be resolved by snooping over his emails or text messages to prove what he’s guilty of. Without being offensive or defensive, talk about what happened. Stay calm during your conversation and buckle up your maddened spirit in the backseat. He must elaborate the factors why he strayed. He will only tell you if you look calm enough to understand. Addressing the behavior and not the person will help you deal with the problem objectively.
Make decisions.
If your boyfriend is sorry for his unfaithfulness, his promise of not committing the same mistake again isn’t enough. Let him arrive at decisions that will make your relationship stronger. Stress that repeating the same old habits will most likely destroy your love for each other. Encourage him to be honest with his schedule and to describe the people he meets outside your clique. As he explains, listen intently to his words and gestures and feel how sincere he is. If he isn’t, don’t let him pull your legs once more.
Learn to re-trust.
It’s quite challenging to regain lost trust. To have faith in a partner who has played in the field seems unworkable. Time plays a great factor in healing the wound. It will definitely heal faster though, if he consistently keeps his word after giving him another chance. If the past continuously haunts you, try to focus on his positive side and your wonderful memories together. You can’t change the history but your enlightened heart would know if he deserves to regain your confidence in him.
When your colleague says, “My boyfriend is cheating on me,” she is definitely not having the time of her life. Listen to her as she relay the heartbreaking story and remind her that raising the middle finger in anger and kicking him out of her life are not the only alternatives. Who knows, giving him a chance to make up for his stupid mistake might lead your relationship to a stronger path.
Discarding him is most likely an easier way out, although why don't hand him (and yourself) a 2nd chance? Here's additional suggestion on starting compromises: get a boyfriend back. Thus, he might be the one to take action first. Know what you have to do in that case at he dumped me.