How to End Pain and Be Happy

Many people who believe in karma (the law of cause and effect in respect to previous incarnations if you believe in that) have the concept that the negative situations that happen to them are a type of karmic debt. That somehow they deserve whatever bad things have befallen them, either in business, or in relationships. I completely disagree with the concept that what is happening to you in this life is due to a past life debt that you have to pay off.

That makes no sense since we do not remember what we did, if this is true, and therefore will not have any feelings of remorse and repentance. This comment is often followed by how to be happy and end the pains of life.

Happiness is in your mind, but to feel it we must first conquer our mind from its tendency to be dwelling on negative thoughts. The only way to end pain is to see events objectively as they are.

Emotional pain is purely intellectual. When you do not get what you want, you feel pain. However, if you accept what you get, then you will not feel pain. This is simply logical. If I accept what I get without any reluctance, resistance or negative emotion towards it, I cannot feel any pain by it. Thus we can conclude that pain is caused by a denial or refusal of the objective reality of a situation.

Take everything that comes into your life, every event as it is instead of saying; "No, I do not want this, I want that", and you will end all pain in your life. It has nothing to do with karma at all, it is all right here and now and all in your own attitude, thus all in your own mind.

The idea of karma and past life debts are just excuses to avoid the relinquishing of desires and admitting that you are simply going against the reality of the situation. People say; “It’s my karma that she left me”, or whatever bad thing happened. “It’s karma, and I’m paying a karmic debt so I should suffer because that is how I can repent and release the karmic debt.”

That is just an excuse so one can suffer and feel self-pity without any concern that it is totally self inflicted pain that could just as easily be avoided. If there is no pain, the natural law of opposites leaves no other choice but happiness.

The reality is that the pain is felt because you are not accepting things simply as they are and in order to end pain, you have to give up your egoistic desires and accept your fate. It is only a child who expects everything to go their way and throws a temper tantrum if they do not get what they want. I suppose it is because so many people stay at the maturity level of a five year old that there is so much unnecessary pain in our lives.

Rather than change themselves, many people will put it all on the concept of karma or fate or that God hates them, stay the same and continue to suffer throughout their whole life every time they do not get what they want. That way they never have to put in the effort to mature and accept the responsibilities of an adult.

You feel pain in your heart, stomach, body, mind, emotions. There is an interesting fact about that pain. You are the only one who feels it. Other people may have some compassion for you and empathize with your pain, but if you are happy, they would not have any feeling of pain for you. The pain is all in your own mind.

That means you are the source and master of that pain. After all, nothing reaches your mind other than through your intellect which interprets the situation and gives it a flavor of good or bad once it passes the test of fulfilling or denying your desires.

As they say in the movies; “You are either with me or against me, friend or foe.” Friends make me feel good, enemies make me angry. What if you changed your reasons to determine if someone was a friend or enemy?

Let’s say you are driving down the road and someone is chasing after you. You try to get away because you are scared they want to attack you. As the chase goes on, you get more and more angry and hate that person more each second. The fear and anger continue to build until finally your pursuer gets up to the side of your car and holds up your handbag. Instantly you realize that this evil person who wanted to kill you is actually someone from the coffee shop where you unknowingly forgot your bag and he is just trying to get it back to you. Your view of the situation, if you feel it is an attack or a friend will totally alter your emotions.

In life, we cannot always have what we want. That would mean that every person on earth, as well as all governments and the global economy must all go the way “I” want it to go. I think we just stepped down to about two years old at this point.

If I may be so bold...Grow up! Life is not going to go the way you want it, you are not God or supreme master of planet earth. It only takes an instant to alter the way you think. Accept everything as it is, that you cannot always have what you want, that emotional pain, even for the death of a loved one, is caused by you not getting what you want. Then accept all things as they are and deal with it as it is.

In this way, your life will be free of emotional pain and suffering, and happiness will be the rule. Give this a try. Little by little, day by day, you will find your life slowly and gradually changing.