Be kind to yourself, especially during difficult times. This is so easy to forget! Often we are our own worst enemy and critics. We need to learn to love ourselves and have patience. You must learn to listen to your needs and accept them as they are. So when a crisis strikes and you feel the need to cry or sleep, then allow that. Realize that you are doing the best you can given where you are right now.
Being kind to yourself will attract others to treat you nicely as well—which is exactly what you need when you are going through a tough time. That is the Golden Rule, treat others as you wish to be treated. It starts with you first.
Do things that will make you feel better and know that it is OK to take time for yourself. Just make sure the things you do are constructive. A shopping spree when you are in major debt may not be the best way of being kind to yourself. But a massage can certainly relieve some stress. Or just take a walk along a beach or in the woods to absorb some of nature’s beauty. Write a list of things that fall into this category so you can easily choose something when you need to lift yourself up. Watch the self-talk going on in your head and work towards being aware of it.
If you have a voice or program that is very critical of yourself, a tip that will help diminish that negativity within yourself is to name that voice and pay attention to it. Once you give it a name, you can distance yourself from it to realize it’s not really you speaking but a part of you and its function is to “protect” you. Decide to find the true voice of your inner self and hear how loving and kind it is to you…and pay close attention to that instead. This is all a part of self love and self care…and it is NOT selfish to do this. It is essential!
The tough times you have are here to teach you something. So look for the lesson. See if you can find any patterns repeating in your life, experiences that seem to come back over and over. When you see that, it means that you haven’t learned your lesson the first time around, and usually it comes back even tougher the second, third, fourth time!
I can tell you my first husband was a combination of two challenging relationships I had earlier in my life. So I got a double whammy with him because apparently I hadn’t done my homework and learned what I was supposed to learn the first two times! When you discover a pattern, don’t beat yourself up over it either. Most of us live our lives on default—without being aware—until we start to figure this stuff out. Taking responsibility for the life you are creating for yourself is a huge step in liberating yourself from a lot of pain and suffering. Because now you can begin to consciously create your life instead.
Once you have found a pattern and discovered what the lesson is, then look for the blessing. It can be difficult to see that when you are in the midst of a crisis but if you know there is always something good that will come out of even the worst situations, it gives you hope that this too shall pass.
Just remember, be kind to yourself—always and especially when you are facing a tough transition.
Karin Volo is an expert in career and personal development and is known as a Tough Transition Specialist and Dream Life Mentor. Working with entrepreneurs to international organizations, she has gained a broad business viewpoint and has helped hundreds of individuals discover their dream jobs. The common thread with her clients has been that they are experiencing a transition. Her clients say she is professional, inspiring, dedicated, efficient, persistent, and determined. Karin’s passion is helping people better their lives and her purpose is to inspire and teach others to thrive through tough times to discover and create their dream lives.
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