How many times have you blamed someone or something else for a problem in your life?
We’ve all done it and we are conditioned to do this. It is a natural reaction…yet it is one that harms us in so many ways. Blaming others automatically puts you in a position of being a victim. It gives your control away and takes away your confidence and innate power.
The truth is we create our lives by our thoughts and our emotions. And whatever circumstances come into your life have a purpose, mostly to teach you some sort of lesson. Taking ownership of 100% of your life experience is not an easy task! Who wants to say they created such hardships as death, illness, trauma, accidents, abuse, and lousy relationships? But that is exactly what needs to be done in order to let go of the victim mentality and become victorious in your life.
So how do you go about doing this?
The first thing is to realize that most of us are creating our life unconsciously. That means it isn’t your fault horrible things have happened to you! You have probably been creating your life by default, going back to the reactions we are conditioned to by our upbringing. Whether it has been our parents, teachers, friends, loved ones, or our society, we received a program that said if something bad happens, blame it on _____________ (fill in the blank).
We are not taught about the amazing power that we all have within us—the power to create. More and more people are becoming aware of this. I’ve been forced in very difficult times in my life, particularly the last five years, to learn to tap into this power and actually begin to consciously work with it. I’ve had some rusty starts but I have believed that it was possible and once I got the hang of it, I’ve been able to create many miracles in my life. This stuff works!
Let me ask you this, how long will it serve you to be a victim?
I once heard woman who had been in an abusive relationship telling the story of how she overcame this challenge. One day, she was complaining about how horrible and unjust everything was. She was feeling so sorry for herself, and so helpless about her situation. She told me that in the middle of her tirade, she suddenly realized that no one forced her to choose this husband. She chose to marry him. She also realized she could choose to leave him too. And she found a way to reclaim her power.
When you do decide to release the victim mentality, be kind to yourself. Do not beat yourself for your previous choices in life—that just changes the blame from external sources to yourself—as this definitely does not serve you! Look for the lessons instead so you can take that away from the difficult circumstances. Accept that you have made some choices that had some tough lessons and be grateful that you have now figured that out.
I want to also comment that no one consciously chooses to experience disease, disability, child abuse or any of the other hideous things that can happen in our world. But I do believe that on a deeper soul level, we probably have chosen these experiences because of the deep lessons we can learn and that we can teach to others through that experience. Overcoming any difficult situation gives you more power, more confidence in yourself, more appreciation for the good things we have in life, and inspires others.
Who doesn’t cheer on the person who has lost a leg yet is able to run a marathon or ski down the mountains? Or the Biggest Loser who loses all their encumbering weight and reverses severe health issues? Or the Davids of the world who take on the Goliaths and win? I love the movie Erin Brochovich with Julie Roberts playing this young, poor, single mom takes on one of the biggest energy companies in a fight for justice to help hundreds of families whose health had been adversely affected just by living in a small town. All of these stories inspire us because we see the greatness within another—a greatness that we can all fulfill in our own lives.
You have a choice. You can choose to be a victim or a victor! Which one will you choose?
If you are facing any sort of tough transition right now, this Thursday 7/14/2011 I am offering a free teleclass: How to Stop the Downward Spiral and Start Living Your Dream Life. See how I refused to be a victim and was able to thrive though one of the hardest times in my life. You will learn some of the techniques I used to stop the suffering and start attracting my dream life: Tough Transitions Teleclass.
Karin Volo is an expert in career and personal development and is known as a Tough Transition Specialist and Dream Life Mentor. She uses her professional skills and draws from her personal experiences to help individuals and companies thrive through difficult transitions. Her clients say she is professional, inspiring, dedicated, persistent, and determined. Karin’s passion is helping people better their lives through sharing all she has learned on her own journey. Her purpose is to inspire and teach others to thrive through tough times to discover and create their dream lives.
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