Honoring People You Don't Like

In growing your business have you accepted people you don't like as clients because you believed you needed to? Sometimes small business owners are not confident enough to say no to people who they don't like even if the person fits other criteria of their ideal client.

How have the business relationships with people you don't like worked out? As a trained mediator and through business coaching and life coaching, I know most of my clients experienced some of these relationships. I admit to early on entering into business relationships with people I didn't like. Here are some behaviors I noticed and that clients are quickly becoming aware of as they grow their businesses:

* Do you react quickly without thinking first?
* Do you blame the other person for messing up the relationship?
* Do you blame the other person for causing the project to go less smoothly than desired or even for failing?
* Do you avoid being around people you don't like to the extent possible?

We can choose to spend time with people we like in our personal lives. Sometimes we do not have that choice in our business lives. Yet, we do have the choice about how we interact. Working together and achieving positive outcomes requires honoring people you don't like. Use the steps that follow to get started honoring those you really would prefer to avoid.

* Step 1-Write down precisely what it is you do not like about the person. Write only personality characteristics or behaviors. If at first you write generalizations, keep narrowing down the description until at most five words remain (e.g., sarcastic, failed to acknowledge my contribution).

* Step 2-Explore fully if your statements are interpretations.

* Step 3-Identify times when you have exhibited the same characteristic-most assuredly there has been at least one time you can remember.

People we do not like often evoke the very things that we do not like about ourselves.

People we don't like can trigger a sense, if not a full recognition, that we are operating out of alignment with our integrity. Continue to move toward honoring people you do not like by taking the following actions:

* See yourself clearly in the other person
* Forgive yourself (truly forgive)
* Honor yourself
* Forgive the other person (truly forgive)
* Honor people you do not like

If you hate a person, you have something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us. ~ Herman Hesse