1. Do not make fun of or dismiss her anxieties/ insecurities as irrelevant, nonsensical and the like.
2. Find out where her comfort level is i.e. she doesn’t like/ want to do A, B, or C. What can she do or is willing to do? Start from there.
3. Gently stretch her comfort level e.g. if he wants her to give him oral sex and she doesn’t like/ want to due to fear of bacterial infection. For instance, how about getting her to stimulate the same with another erogenous part of his body e.g. ear/ finger first?
4. Support her by going for sex coaching with her, and paying for it
5. Encourage, cheer her on every step of the way. Celebrate.
Dr. Martha Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching. She is a certified sexologist with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality. She provides sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conducts sexual education workshops and speaks at public events. For more, visit www.eroscoaching.com or email drmarthalee@eroscoaching.com.