It is a well-known fact that relationships thrive when there are communication and understanding between the partners. Without these components, the relationship is destined to fail. Unfortunately many people don’t realize that simple communication can do wonders for a failing relationship. Instead, most will keep their mouths shut about the things that are bothering them and continue the relationship as it is because it is convenient. Or they will stay together for the sake of the children involved. Neither of these reasons is good enough for people to stay together.
Relationships are partnerships, and the two people involved should each make the other person better. They should be better together then they are when they are apart. If you are feeling a sense of discontent with your partner, then you need to think about the whole of the relationship. Can it be saved? Should it be saved? If you can answer yes to these questions then keep reading. It is going to take some work on your part as well as some work on the part of your partner. However, with this work you will be able to save your relationship.
Once you have decided to work toward saving the relationship it is important to know that almost every relationship can be saved with hard work and a commitment from both parties to devote themselves to making the necessary changes. Remember that this is going to take both you and your partner. If one of you has already opted out of the relationship and does not want back in then there is little that can be done and it is best for both of you to go on your separate ways. However, if you are both in this to save what you have together and are committed to doing so, then it is time to move onto the next step.
Once both you and your partner are on board toward saving the relationship it is time to pinpoint the problems within the relationship. In this step, it is important to recognize the difference between the actual problems and the symptoms of the problems. For example, many people will say that an affair caused their breakup, when in truth a lack of intimacy and affection from their partner is what led to the other partner straying in the first place. While this does not make it ok to cheat on your partner, it does show that the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of affection in the primary relationship.
If the issue of the relationship lacking affection is never dealt with, then you can be sure that the cheating issue will arise again, maybe not with another person, maybe this time it will be with pornography. This is why it is extremely important to deal with the root of the problem within the relationship. Once you and your partner are able to do this, then you will be one step closer to saving your relationship.
Once you and your partner have identified the core issues you can begin to share your thoughts with each other. This is going to require that you are able to verbalize your feelings, and listen to your partner’s feelings with an open mind. This is not going to be an easy step. You are going to have to tell your partner things that he or she may not want to hear. You are also going to have to listen to some things that your partner will say that you may not want to hear.
One way to make this easier is for you to hold your partner’s hand when you are talking about what you feel the core issues in the relationship are. This simple gesture is a signal to your partner that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. In addition, remember that when your partner is taking about their feelings with regards to the relationship that they are not doing so to hurt you. They are doing so because they want to save the relationship just as much as you do. When trying to save your relationship you must be open minded and willing to take accountability for your role in the relationship, and your partner must be willing to do the same.
Once you and your partner have detailed the problems in your relationship with an open mind, it is time to create an action plan aimed at solving the issues. Once the plan is thought out concrete steps must be taken by both you and your partner to put the plan into action. For example, if one of the identified issues was that you and your partner don’t spend time together the way that you did when you first got together, then plan a date night once a week. Make the time for each other. Take turns planning out the date so that it involves thoughts on the part of each of you. If your issue is lack of communication, then make time each day for you and your partner to talk, even if it is only 20 minutes each night before you go to sleep, over time you and your partner will begin to feel a renewed sense of closeness with each other.
Saving a relationship is an ongoing process.
You will find times when you think you have taken a huge step forward with your partner, only to find that you have taken two steps back. There will always be laughter and tears within relationships and it is important to remember the good times over the bad ones. As difficult as it may be to do, it is important that both you and your partner are in the mind set of being quick to apologize and slow to blame. This relationship involves the two of you, each of you having an equal part in the overall functioning of the relationship. You are partners. Not one of you is to blame for the failure or success of the relationship.
So, is your relationship worth saving? If so, then there is no better time than the present to sit with your partner and make the effort to save what the two of you have together as a united couple. Please visit Expert Relationship Tips for the best advice and relationship counseling that can be found on the internet.