What can be the possible causes when things are not going well in a romantic and sexual relationship? What can you do to improve your relationship and sex life? Here are some common causes of relationship problems and the things you can do to improve your relationship.
(1) Stop blaming each other
It is important not to blame a lack of intimacy on anyone. You may be tempted to place blame on your partner for a lack of emotional and sexual intimacy. You need to understand however that all human beings have inherent need to be close to each other. A better way to handle this is to recognize that both need to take responsibility for having a successful romantic and sexual relationship and to work together at coming up with solutions.
(2) Putting relationship with your partner as a top priority
It is important that you do not let schedules and everyday life get in the way of finding time to work on your relationship. If you have the will to make things better, then you need to look at your joint schedules and find time for you to spend with your partner. Make an effort to sit down and have a 2-way talk with your partner about desires and longings, fears and disappointments, triumphs and successes and any other private and intimate details.
If you and your partner are struggling to discuss the things that matter to you both, a better way will be to allow each of you a 10-minute uninterrupted talk to allow both sides to listen to each other. If both of you know there is limited time, this will encourage you to be more concise and avoid being ‘drown out’ if the talking deteriorates into nagging. After both of you have your say, allot a further 10 minutes between you. Allowing time for just the two of you (even if it is just once a week) is very important not only to an intimate sex life but also can give a big boost to your overall health of your relationship.
(3) Making an effort for each other
It is normal that after being together for quite a long time we tend to take each other for granted. Some of us feel that it is no longer necessary to make an effort to impress or to be nice to each other. As a result, we can become careless in the way we talk to each other and pay scant attention to our appearances.
The relationship with your partner is as close as that of your mouth and teeth. Each time when you chew your food, and if you are not careful, you can easily bite your mouth. The same applies to your relationship. Since you are close to each other, you can easily hurt him/her inadvertently in the way you talk. Most of us feel that it is important to have a good relationship with our colleagues and especially our superiors but do not seem to feel the same with our closed ones.
From today onwards, avoid talking in ways that can make your partner feel hurt and eliminate the phrase – the trouble with you. When you are together, make some small effort in looking good to each other such as proper dressing, a clean-shaven face and slight make-up when going out. Do the best to look sexy and appealing to each other.
(4) Making an effort to improve sex life
If sex life becomes less satisfying, you need to look at the whole relationship first. Stress or fatigue due to busy working life can be one of the reasons. Often this can be due to unhappiness with the relationship itself. A man may lose interest in sex if the woman is either too aggressive or in the habit of nagging. A woman may feel a lack of interest sexually because of the perception that her man is never good or nice to her unless he wants sex.
Assuming that you have resolved the underlying issues in your relationship, there are plenty of ways to liven up your sex life. You can take turns to allow each other to take charge in the lovemaking session. Be adventurous in bed and outside of bedroom. Take a trip together to a lingerie store, play sex games or introduce sex toys during lovemaking. Try watching an adult movie with your partner to learn some new moves. You may use fantasies – step outside yourself and try to be someone or something else for the evening. You may read erotica to each other before or even during sex.
Or, you can read more from Healthy Relationship and Get Intimate to find out how you can improve your sex life.