Many years ago, maybe fifteen or more, Daniela and I both attended a small gathering in Phoenix, Arizona, for professionals interested in deeper approaches to psychological issues. As I recall, this event focused on the father and daughter relationship. Daniela and I ended up sitting next to each other, spontaneously introduced ourselves and began to talk.
It seemed we were drawn to each other. We were so energized with and by each other, we had to remind ourselves to listen to the presentation. It was not as exciting as our own discussion. And it turned out that although we were very different, we were also very similar. In fact, our reactions to this presentation and discussion were remarkably along the same lines. We were distressed that it seemed too old fashioned and lacked a more modernized approach to relationship issues. After all, fathers and daughters form relationships, admittedly not the same as couples, but they certainly do influence them.
The bond we felt that first day was based on our discussion together and that our expectations were unmet and frustrated. As the day went on, the distress at not getting all we wanted turned into a mutual exploration of what we did want. We each recognized the energy and passion in the other. We found out we had similar desires for inner development and for a place to express our knowledge and expertise.
From those beginning moments, we created a bond arising from our mutual desires for needing a different style of information. After that seminar we decided to discuss our working together on writing. I was excited and pleased because I felt this partnering in writing would help put across information and benefit others.
Over these ensuing years we honed numerous ideas, plans and writing styles. We established a pattern of weekly Monday lunches. These were combinations of life sharing, writing, and book ideas, all shaped by our mutual respect. We remained tenacious and when one of us floundered, the other helped hold things together. We learned by doing. We put into practice the many aspects of relationships that we were writing about. All of these experiences gradually moved into forming this book called Couples at the Crossroads: Five Steps to Finding Your Way Back to Love.
Susan E. Schwartz, Ph.D., Jungian Analyst, was trained at the C.G. Jung Institute in Zurich, Switzerland and also has a degree in clinical psychology. She has contributed articles and chapters in several professional journals and books. She lectures and presents workshops on psychological relationships worldwide.