Even a broken watch is right twice a day, and yes, many people DO get their ex's back. The real question you should be asking however is "should you?"
Nature plays this glorious trick on each of us. When we break up with someone, we're angry and hurt, we feel loss and helplessness. We have a flood of negative emotions. However, over time, we forget all of that pain and only remember the good, happy times. This is the most dangerous thing there is in rekindling any relationship!
The reason is; if you actually get the relationship back, soon all the old problems come rushing right back because we never fixed them in the first place.
This really IS a situation of being careful what you ask for!
Think back on the things you told your friends and family right after the break up. I’ll bet they’re pretty far from flattering! Do you really want that back in your life? Do you really think all that was healthy or in some way beneficial to either of you? Frankly, it often isn’t.
Even if your ex is dating someone else it’s possible to get them back in your life as your boy/girlfriend. It’s not easy however, but for the purposes of this article, I'll simplify the steps into the 6 "R's":
1) Reconnect. Use some reason or excuse like a holiday, event, birthday or "I was just cleaning out my phone numbers..." to contact this person. Messaging is usually ok, but the telephone is by far better.
2) Remind. Bring up a few memories of when things were good between you. Send a favorite photograph or just recount a story when you and this other person where totally connected, in love and had great, positive energy together.
3) Rekindle. Begin to rebuild those emotional (and especially sexual!) states.
4) Replace. This means both the bad memories of the past (especially the break up itself) and any new person in their lives. You do this by building new memories based on old, cherished ones.
5) Repair. You absolutely have to fix the old problems or you're going to be right back in the shit in no time! The scary part however is that the next break-up is usually far, far worse than the last one! Thus, you have to get things out into the light of day and DEAL WITH THEM. Get them fixed or they'll simply ruin what you've done so far.
6) Rebuild. …the relationship itself. Don’t assume that it’ll just grow on its own. Neglect will only cause it to start degrading again once the excitement has worn off.
So, that's what it takes to get your ex back. Do you really, really want to? Are you sure???
Best regards...
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Have a love, dating, sex or relationship question? You can write to me or get more information about “Being a Man in a Woman’s World tm” by going to: http://BeingAMan.com. Be sure to check out the new BAM! TV at http://BeingAMan.tv. Follow me on Facebook (http://tinyurl.com/cas4w9) and Twitter (http://tinyurl.com/d3pecs).
Copyright (c) 2011, Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
Dr. Neder is known around the world as a tough, but fair relationship expert, dealing with all sorts of dating, sex and relationship issues from a man's perspective. He has written 14 books ("Being a Man in a Woman's World™" series) and is working on 3 others. He's also written hundreds of articles, answered over 33,000 reader/viewer questions and has been on over a thousand radio and TV shows. "Dr. Dennis" is funny, direct and intuitive and has a unique ability to get right to the heart of the issue.
Do you have a burning question that needs an answer? Are you a man that wants to better experiences with women, or a woman that wants to better understand men? To learn more, go to http://beingaman.com and http://beingaman.tv. You can also follow his micro-blog at: http://twitter.com/dwneder.