Self-Love: Why You Need to Love Yourself First

"Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here." – Marriane Williamson

The idea that you need to love yourself first may seem foreign to you. It’s not something that you are comfortable with. After all, you have been taught that it would be selfish of you to place your own needs first. You have little awareness that the purpose of your spiritual journey on Earth is about loving yourself first and foremost. Clouded by fear, you cannot remember who you are at source.

Perhaps, since young, you have been taught the importance of putting the needs of others first. You were told that it is necessary to play well with others so that you can make friends easily. You learn about pleasing others in order to build relationships.

Hence, you may not realize that the concept of loving yourself before you love others is completely healthy and not weird at all. Unfortunately if you have been spending too much time and energy focused on placing the needs of others in priority, you forget to think about yourself. Consequently, it leads you to self-neglect.

Here are few reasons why it is so important to love yourself just as much as, if not more than your love others
• Taking good care of your own health. You may be wondering how working out and eating a healthy, balanced diet can help you to love yourself, but the fact is, if you refuse to take care of your body, you will not be properly equipped to love and care for those around you. And when you do not look as if you are able to properly take care of yourself, others will feel skeptical about your ability to care for them too.

• Increase self-worth. Have you ever noticed how a person’s sense of self-worth affects the ability to love himself? Well, the same holds true as you learn to love yourself. If you don't feel that you are worthy of love, you will never learn to truly love yourself, however, once you accept the fact that you are capable of being loved, you will not reject your own love.

• Avoid pre-defeat. Do you know what the best way to lose is? Thinking you've lost before you ever enter the game. Even if you feel like you've tried every possible option in your quest to learn to love yourself, keep trying until you master it. You have to go into every situation with a winning attitude because when you defeat yourself in your mind, it is unlikely that you will be able to reach your goals. You are probably in self-defeat if you cannot love yourself adequately.

• Develop empathy. The irony is that once you start loving yourself, your ability to empathize with others increases. You are in connection with your heart. And you understand the suffering of others much better.

There is nothing new to the idea about loving yourself first, even whilst you have been taught differently since young. In fact, one of the great sages of all time, Buddha, has a beautiful saying about this: "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection". As you learn to accept the idea that it is okay, and actually healthy to love yourself, be patient. It is possible to fall back into old habits of self-beating and negative self-talk. Making the firm intent of loving yourself and sticking with it helps.